My Summer Vacation

Where Do I Go?

2011-08-26T22:49:00.001-04:00

Dear Pastor,
I was able to overlook the first incident. When you told W what he couldn't wear to church as the lay leder. After all, what difference do the clothes make anyway? W says it's not a huge deal to him, so I accept it.

The second was a bit harder. When T took the reigns on finding a new FM coordinator, putting her own address and email on the forms, submitting them only God knows where, and "pre-screening" candidates. I was pretty upset when you told W to back off and stop irritating T. What she was doing was wrong, period. Against the spirit of the way the church committee was supposed to work. What's the point of having a committee, if you're just going to let one person do whatever s/he wants? At that point, I was willing, even wanting, to walk away. But I've been coming still, hoping things would be better. Hoping to respect you again.

Today, though, I'm done. When you take away my right, my obligation, to celebrate the Eucharist every Sunday, I am done. In your EMAIL, you said that there's no directive as to frequency in either the Bible or the Book of Discipline. Even if that is so, the history of this particular church is having Communion every week. We celebrate Christ's last supper because we are exhorted to as often as we can, whenever we're together. It is in the Bible.

You want to replace this part of church with an altar call. Really? This is NOT a tradition of this church. I'm not opposed to new things, but I don't see why you'd have to take out something so meaningful for something else. Couldn't you do it, as W suggested when we talked, during the last song? Or after the service?

So, you see, I'm fed up. I cannot worship in a place I don't recognize anymore. In a place that seems to be turning into something I don't like. I can't listen to someone who wants to change special things that should be left alone. Someone I don't respect.

I hope it goes well for you, Pastor. I hope this change brings about whatever you are trying to accomplish. I won't be there to find out.

Sincerely,
Me

Mad Crazy or Crazy Mad?

2011-08-02T15:42:00.001-04:00

My best friend, W, is the lay leader at our church. If you are unfamiliar with this "job", let me explain. The lay leader is chosen by the church to assist the pastor with various duties on Sunday mornings. At our church, this includes praying for the congregation, helping with communion, and closing prayer. W also has other duties outside of Sunday mornings, like coordinating readers and assigning more communion help. He is also a member of every single committee of the church. He is the voice of the congregation to the pastor. This is NOT a paid position.

Last week, Pastor called W to a meeting. One of the things they discussed was W's attire on a Sunday morning. Some Sundays, he wears khakis and a button-down shirt or polo. Other Sundays, he wears jeans, but always with a dressy-ish shirt. Apparently, this is unacceptable. People have complained about the way he dresses. Not about his prayers, his attitude, but his CLOTHES.

W has been attending this church for over 10 years. He has always dressed this way. No one ever had a problem with this, until the past few months.

I don't understand. Did Jesus wear a suit and tie to the synagogue every week? I'm sure he didn't go unclean, as that would have violated sacred laws. But W isn't coming to church dirty. His jeans don't have holes in them. He is always dressed well.

Outside of our church, next to the road, there is a sign inviting people to "Come as you are...REALLY!" No, it really says that. Clearly, that doesn't mean much to these small-minded so-called Christians.

Trying Again

2011-07-27T23:09:00.001-04:00

It's been a long day. I mean, I was given the standard 24 hours like everyone else. It has FELT like a long day. My 2 older sons have been at each other all day. My husband was out of town for business. That is not unusual; he travels every day. But he's not coming home until tomorrow, so it made him feel even more absent if that makes any sense.

And I was thinking, why? Why did I feel more overwhelmed than usual today? All summer long, it's been me at home with two unruly boys and one baby. Every day. Twenty-four hours a day. Seven days a week. For eight straight weeks. Wow. I love my kids. They are the best gift God has given me. But they are truly lucky to still be alive.

But I can see how that could lead to a feeling of being under a large pile of bricks.

I have dreamed in the past of being a stay at home mom. I have done it before, these past eight summers since having our first child. It seemed so lovely!

Now, I know my limitations. I'm good for about five weeks, if there are planned activities. After that, all bets are off. Especially when there is no "mommy time." Who knew how precious those work days were? When I just got to be the teacher, and didn't have to be on the job the ENTIRE day? Where kids actually listen, and don't spit on each other? Where I don't have to clean up the mess, do the laundry, and supervise bedtime? (Though I would love to add naptime to the school day!) Even just getting out for two hours of shopping feels like a vacation!

I have a whole new respect for mom's who work IN the home. Hats off! Because I certainly couldn't do it. But I will bravely try again next summer. And the next. And the next. Until the last son, who is 14 weeks old, finally goes off to college. Perhaps by then I'll have it figured out.

Welcome Home?

2011-07-27T07:55:00.001-04:00

I looked at my poor, neglected blog today at the request of my step-mom. It's been over a year since I've been on here. Wow. Who knew my life had gotten so busy that I couldn't write anymore. But who needs a blog when you update your Facebook status all day, and tweet your random thoughts to the world?

Turns out I do.

So today, I can already tell, is going to be one of those days. I'm having a lady-fun week. I'm completely exhausted from getting up in the middle of the night to pump (moms understand). And the high today is going to be 96.

And the new baby is waking up. Perhaps I'll get to finish whining later. If I can find the time. Sigh.

slow weekend

2010-04-18T21:08:00.001-04:00

I feel like I got some time off. We didn't have anything major going on this weekend, so it was almost like having a vacation. Saturday, I actually got all the laundry done with daylight left to burn. In the morning, Cheese let us sleep in until 7:00! Then the boys watched Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeekwul. B-rex had t-ball practice that morning, but my sweet husband took care of that so I could work in the house. I got to go to Zumba, which is always fun!

The rest of the day was lazy. The boys played outside with their friend from across the street. Weston and I had a movie night at home. Rented Couples Retreat. Funny! I recommend it for laughs. We have discovered the Redbox method of renting movies. Only $1 per night. Because how many nights in a row are you really going to watch a movie? It's perfect for us.

Today, we had church in the morning. The boys had a friend come over afterwards, so they were out of our hair. Weston and I both got to go for a run this afternoon. Then the boys had UP! (church for kids) this evening. Weston volunteered with the youth, and I got to shop a bit.

Overall, great weekend. Top 10 for sure!

vacation boredom

2010-04-07T14:28:00.001-04:00

you've all been on vacation. The first couple of days are like a honeymoon. Everything is exciting and new! You are enjoying the kids for the first time in ages. Then, about day four, reality sets in. You've done all the cool stuff, and you're stuck watching cartoons.

This feeling is amplified when you are visiting family during your vacation. Of course you don't expect them to take off the whole time you're there. After all, they do have to earn a living, and it's not like they want to waste all their vacation time on you. I am there. We spent the last couple of days exploring the Prattville area. Now, the grandparents have returned to work, and I don't know my way around town. So we're sitting here at their house watching cartoons. Which we could be doing at our house.

How do we beat the vacation blues? How do I entertain the kids the rest of the day today and ALL day tomorrow? Please give mesome ideas!!

And when I'm bored, I tend to snack. Not good!

Lazy Day

2010-04-05T11:02:00.001-04:00

I am sitting outside, enjoying the quiet and warmth of an Alabama morning. I love porch-type swings. So peaceful. The boys are being nice to each other. I can hear birds singing. It's not too warm yet, though the heat is surely coming.

B-rex is hitting plastic golf balls off of a tee. I can't tell if he has no skills, or if the club is too big for him. Probably a bit of both. The boys have been practicing their golf swing. They managed to break the kid-sized clubs last time we were here. (There's nothing my boys can't break!) Now they're making due with Grandpa's clubs. Some sort of wedge, maybe? I don't know anything about golf.

I am reminded of other quiet times. Times B.C. = before children. When I could enjoy being outside without the threat of a ball/bat/club coming at my head. Now, my silence is interrupted by "Mom! I can't find my shoes!" I didn't take them off. Why would I have any idea where they are? And yet the search must be undertaken, because I am the mommy. That's my job. So much for quiet and rest!

spring vacation

2010-04-03T18:34:00.001-04:00

So this morning started my official vacation. I woke up early, so we could get an early start. No such luck. Between the snuggling and last-minute packing, we didn't leave until 9.

The boys did a great job in the car. They were almost completely silent for the first hour. Cheese put his MP3 player on, and that was pretty much the last I heard from him. B-rex spent most of the trip playing with his new, giant plastic spider. I can't imagine who would have let him buy something like that. (hint: it was me)

I can't believe they were so well-behaved! When we drive the 3 miles to church, they fight. When we drive the 10 minutes to BiLo, they fight. Even on the 3 minute drive to Publix! Nothing but shouting and hitting. But a 7-hour drive? No problem! Who knew?

I'll keep you updated. B-rex already has a splinter, and I had to buy a new dress. I can't believe I forgot my Easter dress!

no longer At the Jiffy Lube

2010-04-02T17:31:00.001-04:00

So we made it through the 15 minute oil change with not too much badness. The boys have been surprisingly well-behaved today. Through 2 grocery stores, 2 Walgreens, Target, and Jiffy Lube. I did (shamelessly) bribe them a bit, but don't judge. Now, Cheese is enjoying his mp3 player on too loud, and B-rex is watching a movie. I may order a pizza, because I am beat.

Crap. I just realized that I forgot to pick up my prescription again. And to take the boys to the library. And there was something else, but now I've quite forgotten what that was. Why does it seem like there is never enough time to get things done?

I did finish another James Rollins book, Altar of Eden. Excellent! See, we DO need to go to the library. Damn!

Snowy, snowy night

2010-02-13T09:26:00.005-05:00

So, it's the most snowfall in SC since 1973. That's before I was born! But did it stop us from going outside to enjoy the beauty? No way! I'm glad that I got to spend the time with Cheese and B-rex. They loved it! Today, not so much. That's okay.

It started snowing around 4:00 PM, as we were leaving Food Lion. I know, I know. Who goes to the grocery store in SC when there's talk of snow? There were long lines, but people were nice.

When we got home, Cheese wanted to play outside, so I bundled them up! Don't they look adorable!?!

This is the boys making snowballs. It was about 5:30 PM. They were practicing so that they could have a snowball fight when their dad got home.

This is what it looked like outside this morning. There's about 5-6 inches out there. Wow! I felt like a little girl again, back in Illinois!

Compare this shot to the one at the beginning. Wow!

If you use your imagination, and look really closely, you can see Hubs' snow angel. It will have to do!I hope to take some more pictures later. And Hubs has some on his camera as well. Yay, Snow Day! (Of course, it had to be a Saturday, and not a school day...)

Life improvements

2009-08-13T15:24:00.002-04:00

Things are not so bad here now. I have been in contact with a debt consolidation company, who is helping us to get out of the deep hole. Also, we had an unexpected help from my sweet, wonderful in-laws. (Who also bought us dinner one night!) Thanks!! For the help, and for my husband! So, I am not as stressed out about $$ as I was before. It feels nice. I'm still watching our accounts closely - don't think that I've gone crazy shopping or something. I'm just not contemplating robbing a bank anymore.

I went back to work offically today. We had in-service this morning. For those not in the school world, an in-service is when we get taught "new" things. We learned about bullying, inquiry (Good job Dana!), writing across the curriculum, and the differences between the sexes. Like we needed an in-service in that! I'm married, for goodness sake. I totally get that boys and girls (or men and women) are different. Also, I'm writing my Masters thesis on that, so I had been over all the research and such already. That's okay. Nancy and Kyle still did a good job.

Also, this afternoon, I got to sit down with a reporter from WLTX. I've been part of the beta group on a new website: SC Teacher Village. It's a social network, like FB, for teachers. A group of us has been using the site all summer, getting the "bugs" out. It is supposed to roll out this fall sometime. Anyway, one of the reporters came out to the STate Department and interviewed some folks. One of whom was ME!! So, I'm going to be watching the news tonight, instead of the Disney channel. I'm quite excited! As soon as I get a link to the story online, I'll share. I'd like everyone to be able to see my tv debut!

So, I'm going to go read some more of my book, Second Helpings by Megan McCafferty. I'd like to finish it sometime today...

What I wouldn't give...

2009-07-21T09:07:00.004-04:00

...to have some money. I would sell my soul. I just don't understand how this keeps happening. It seems like we just can't get it together. The bills are piling up. The money just isn't there. If only we were a charitable cause, and people could just send us checks and keep us afloat.

I'm sad today. We are flat as a pancake broke. Again. Shit.

Long time!!

2009-07-07T10:52:00.002-04:00

So, I haven't been updating this blog like I should. I don't think I even realized that I still had this! I've been so caught up in school and work, that I haven't had a spare moment to think about anything else.

This summer, which is what this blog is all about, is a lazy one compared to last year. I'm not traveling at all. Well, maybe to the in-laws lake house on Hartwell, but nowhere else. There's no trip to Italy. No trip to Mexico. No trip anywhere! I feel strange being home all the time, but I'm managing to keep busy.

B-rex was enrolled in a summer speech camp. The camp used masters candidates from USC to work with the kids on their speech. B-rex had a good time. It was funny, though, because he resisted me every day. "I don't want to go to speech camp!" But once he got there, he was fine. In fact, most days he ran over to Miss Julie and gave her a hug! He got to make a craft every day, just like at school. Some days, he went to daycare in the morning. But most days he just stayed home with me and Cheese.

Cheese has had a boring summer. I feel kind of bad about that. But we've been scheduling our lives around speech camp! And it was in the middle of the afternoon, which really cut into fun time. We have gone swimming with my sis and Mad-dog, but not as much as he would like. He also begs every day to go over to the Ryan's house. I just can't seem to explain to him that you can't just invite yourself over to someone's house! That's rude!

As for me, I'm taking my usual Wednesday class. Right now, it's professional leadership. I also have 2 electives to take this summer. One this week, one next week. I'll be done with grad school in September! Only 13 more weeks!

I'll try to keep this more updated, in case anyone actually reads it. I'm not doing anything but class this week, though. And the boys are in Alabama with Grandpa and Gigi! Vacation for me!!!

Lemons

2009-01-25T19:06:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I know that the cars were used when we bought them. I understand that they are not perfect and new. No problem. But I expect that they will last more than 4 months after buying. Such frustration!!

Weston couldn't get his car to start this morning. It was early, he was leaving for church. He said that it sometimes has trouble getting going when it's cold. No problem. So he took my car instead. At 9:30, I went out to try again, so the boys and I could go to Sunday School. Nothing. I went out again at 10:30. Nothing. So, no church for the 2nd week in a row.

Tomorrow, the plan is for us to get the kids up extra-early so that they can all drive me to work. Luckily, I don't have morning duty this week, so I don't have to be there until 7:20. BUT, I do have class tomorrow afternoon. Starting at 4:00. It is NOT at my school. Hmmm. What to do? Guess I'll hitch a ride or walk or something.

What could be wrong with the Santa Fe? I have no idea. I just hope it can be fixed. Soon. Cheaply. Otherwise, we are in trouble!

In other news, I really enjoyed the Phineas and Ferb marathon on ToonDisney. That is my new favorite show. Other than Grey's, House, Dancing with the Stars, Criminal Minds, and Numb3rs. But for a kids' show, P & F is really catchy. They had a marathon all weekend. So it's been on constantly! But I think I have now officially seen every single episode of it. I hope they make some new ones soon!

TGIF!

2009-01-23T21:42:00.003-05:00

There are some days when you just cannot even fathom that you have to be awake. Today was one of those days for me. I just feel so drained! There are a lot of days that I'm tired. It's just the nature of what I do for a living. I teach. I give of myself every day to these kids. It can be very draining. And I'm tired most every day. Not that I'm complaining, okay, well a little. But today it just seemed even worse. Those last couple of classes are so hard. The information is harder to process, and the kids are a little more obnoxious. A lot more, actually.

So I got a visit after school, while I was still pretty tired and just wanted to go home, from two of my former students. Sweet girls, now sophomores in high school. It was really reaffirming to talk to them. They are 3rd year language students now, and actually like it. It makes me feel like all the headaches I endured were worth it. If even two kids "got it" and stuck with it, then it's all worth it. Right?

I just get so frustrated. My final class is very disrespectful. I was talking to another teacher yesterday, and I just could not even fathom their behavior. When I was in 8th grade, I would never have acted the way they do in my class. I would certainly not have turned around in my seat, when my teacher was clearly trying to give me instructions for homework, and talked to the person behind me. Multiple times. Utterly ridiculous. I would have shut the heck up and been done with it.

Enough! It is late. I am tired. Psych is on. Adios!

Been Missing?

2009-01-22T20:51:00.002-05:00

Wow! I don't think I realized that I've been gone so long. I'm all into that Facebook thing now, so I've been neglecting my blog! Oops! I also have just plain been busy. But I want to do this, this writing thing. I remember that I love to write, so I need to take some time for me and do it!

Cheese is doing so great! The doc has lowered his status to just coming in every three months. It is truly a blessing from God. There has been the occasional accident, but overall he's been doing really well. If only his behavior in school was that good. We've been getting notes from his teacher about his bad behavior. Well, not really BAD, exactly, just moderately disruptive. He's a "natural leader" who is not using his power for good. We've threatened him with taking away his toys, but that doesn't seem to be helping much. I even offered to buy him a toy at the end of the month, if he will just be good! I know that we're not supposed to do that, bribing him, but we really don't know what else to do.

B-rex had a big fall. He's been in speech classes again, and those are going so well. He's talking up a storm now! Once we got Cheese all squared away physically, we decided to focus on B-rex. So in December, he had his tonsils and adenoids removed. It was a fun week with him. So pitiful all the time: "My fwoat huwts, Mommy." Broke my heart. We knew it was bad when he actually asked for his Tylenol with codeine. The good news is: he's fully recovered! And now that he doesn't snore anymore, he's sleeping much better. AND, the boy has finally gotten an appetite. He's like a bottomless pit now! Sheesh!

I started my Masters program last summer, at the end of July. So far, I'm 3 classes in, and it is going really well. I have a 4.0 in two classes, and a 3.96 overall. So proud of myself. I'm feeling pretty darn smart. Praise God!

Hubs is doing well. Well, okay. We're working through some stuff.

I'll try to keep this updated. Really. Just not during Grey's Anatomy. Tootles!

Normal?

2008-09-04T20:52:00.002-04:00

Well, Cheese had his surgery last week. It's been 7 days, and he's doing great! The surgery was Friday. He was up and moving on Saturday. Started clear liquids on Sunday. Solid food on Monday. Home on Tuesday!

He's been pooping like a champ as well! He has not had an accident yet. And he can feel when he has to go, which is also good. We have been praying so hard for this. So many people, in so many places. It seems like God is really granting the prayers this time. We've been here before, though, so I'm trying not to get too excited. Twice before, we've thought that everything was okay. Then something went wrong, and the colostomy had to come back.

But it feels so different this time. I hope it is different this time.

Good morning!

2008-08-31T11:33:00.002-04:00

Here we are, back in the hospital. So far, so good. Cheese had the surgery on Friday, and the doc said it all looked good.

Well, the nurse came in this morning and removed the gauze from Cheese's bottom. That's good. Now if he would just pass some gas. Once he does that, he will be allowed to have some liquids, then maybe some actual food! I know he would be glad for that. He's been a real trooper today. They just came in and weighed him: 41.5 pounds. That means he's lost 3.5 pounds since last week. Could it have something to do with the fact that he hasn't eaten real food since last Wednesday?

I finished (sort of) one of my papers last night! On my teaching philosophy. I still need to clean it up, and write my conclusion. But it's the right number of words, and just long enough. Yay! One down, two more to go. One is a reflection paper: Teaching is like... Hmmm... torture? J/K! I was thinking about doing a poster or a PPT instead of writing something. If I write, it has to be 500-700 words. If I do the other, there is no requirement. I hate this stuff.

Now, my bestest little sister is on her way over with some Zaxbys for me. She's awesome!

Those were the days

2008-08-30T07:45:00.002-04:00

Oh for the days when B-rex would sleep late. I'm afraid we have him so conditioned to getting up early for school, that he now will wake up early on the weekends too! NOOOOOOOO! I loved that I could always count on B-rex to be a good LATE sleeper. Even as late as last weekend, he slept late. I was really looking forward to having some rest today. Oh well. Just more time to do the laundry.

Hubs and Cheese are still at the hospital. Cheese had his colostomy reversed and his colon reconnected to his rectum. Third time's the charm, right? I went to visit last night, and he seems okay so far. The doc said that his rectum was not quite as dialated as he had hoped, so they left some gauze in there to "stretch" things out. Hubs said that it would come out on Sunday. I'm not sure how that will work, but I'm not the doctor.

Cheese looked alright. Pretty good for someone who had major surgery 10 hours before. He had a dose of morphine while I was there, and that seemed to help. I know he is still in a bit of pain. Poor little guy. What a tough kid! Cheese is my hero!

The week at work was okay. I have had to contact 2 parents so far this year. One was early in the week, and the girl has been much better since then. Mom apparently threatened to take away her cell phone. Why an 8th grader needs a cell phone is beyond me! But I guess when you have as much money as this family, even the dog can have a cell phone.

Cheese also has a loose tooth. His first. The tooth fairy has been to the bank, or so I hear. I heard that she picked up some silver dollars and some gold dollars. Something special for when the tooth comes out. :-) I surveyed my students, and the going rate for a tooth is anywhere from $1 to $20! Wow! What would a tooth have to do to be worth $20? Some people just have more money than sense. Hubs and I decided that $1 is plenty for the fairy to leave. Especially since there's another brother on the horizon to losing teeth. We don't want her to set an expectation too high. Ya know?

Must. Go. Switch. Laundry.

need more hours and less shouting

2008-08-24T15:57:00.002-04:00

So, the boys are in the other room. Playing some game that requires them to throw toys into a trash can. And then fight about whose turn it is. There is much shouting. And I'm pretty sure that Cheese is cheating. Or at least not taking turns properly. Because B-rex is yelling a lot. In anger and despair.

What a week! I should really be reading my JOhn Dewey book for class, but I just can't bring myself to pick it up. It's just so wicked boring! And I should also read chapter 4, but again: BORING. Ugh! Grad school is not fun. It is a lot of work.

On top of that, school started this week. Which is not too bad. I've got pretty good classes, it seems so far. It's hard to tell, since we only had 2 days. But they seem alright.

1st period: good. There are a few I'm going to have to come down hard on. Soon. But I can handle that.

2nd period: super! They have been great so far.

3rd period: OMG! Try 29 (yes, 29) sixth graders in one room. With only 27 desks. And I may end up with more, because of scheduling mix-ups. Oh, boy! I am not looking forward to this one!

4th period: 13. Because of the same scheduling probs, I only have 13 in this class. Seem wrong to anyone else? How important is it exactly that these kids all have lunch together? I mean, seriously! Wouldn't their parents rather them get a quality education?

5th period: awesome! Great kids. Mostly my 2nd period from last year.

6th period: is going to be tricky. I've got my "mean girls" from 1st per. last year. All in the same class again. How do they do that? Anyway, I need to figure out how to separate them again. So they will sit down and shut up!

And on top of all that, Cheese started kindergarten. I'll admit it. I cried. But just a little! Really! Not even enought to mess up my makeup. But it was hard. I can't even believe that he's that old. Where has all the time gone?

Well, that's my week. I could really use some motivation. Like the fact that the masters will bring in a LOT more money!!!!! Must read now. Must. Read. Now.

Ouch!

2008-08-17T21:35:00.002-04:00

My throat hurts! B-rex has been back in daycare for a week now, and I think he brought home a little something to share with the family. His nose started running Friday night, and today my throat hurts. Cheese also has a runny nose.

I suppose I could have picked it up at work, but my students aren't back yet, so that seems more unlikely to me.

It has been a busy week for me. Getting ready for back-to-school is never easy. I had Latin meetings on Monday and Tuesday, then met again with the other myth teacher on Wednesday. Thursday and Friday were official school work days.

Friday we also had orientation for 6th graders. A time for them to pick up schedules, meet their teachers, try to figure out their lockers. Which evidently is much harder now than back in the day when I was in school. I don't remember having a hard time with my locker. Yours truly got to be one of the official greeters at the orientation. Yes, me! I am actually really good at fake smiling and being pleasant to people. It must be from all those church greetings! (I just knew that being a pastor's wife would come in handy one day!)

In other news, we are looking more closely at Cheese's last surgery! So close! He went to the doc on Friday and the prognosis looks good! Can you tell I'm excited!? Finally, he is going to be "normal" in the booty area. Please, God.

Hubs is sailing along. Still driving out to work every day. Wish we could find some way so that he doesn't have to drive so far, but right now I guess that's how it has to be. Either that, or I have to drive over an hour to work. And since we can't afford for me to quit, this is it!

Anyhoo, I'm going to find some drugs to help my throat. I hope this clears up by Thursday. I'll need my voice when the kiddos come back to school!

Easier day

2008-08-10T16:58:00.002-04:00

So today was my 2nd Sunday at the new churches. Last week was rough. I met all these new people, and had to listen to Hubs 3 times! Yikes! Today, though, I took the boys to Sunday school at the last church and hung out. I actually stayed in their class, and watched the fun unfold.

I obviously have not spent enough quality time with younger children. They were so funny! Or maybe it was the teacher. At the outset, she told me "I am not a teacher. That is not my profession." I guess so that I wouldn't judge her abilities. Then, she got out paint. Oh, yes. Paint.

And it was watercolor. So that meant that little cups of water were needed. And large t-shirts to go over the clothes of the children. And something to cover the table as well. It took about 10 minutes before they were even able to get started!

But they loved it! They painted robots, cars, and mermaids. Very Biblical, I know. But the teacher was talking to them about "young Jesus." You know, the part of the story where Jesus gets left behind in Jerusalem. And is not missed for 3 days. And does not seem to be concerned, since he is just hanging out at the Temple. It's amazing how much of that the kids actually internalized. I was pretty sure they weren't paying attention at all, but Cheese could answer all my questions at lunch today. Impressive.

It's back to work again tomorrow. Latin meetings. Then Thursday starts the actual back-to-school fun!

home again, home again

2008-08-06T16:00:00.002-04:00

So, I've been home now for just over a week. Can I just say that there are not words to describe how I felt and continue to feel? When I walked down the escalator in the Charlotte airport, and saw Hubs, I just wanted to cry. I think I did actually cry a bit. Emotionally, it was overwhelming. Since then, we have been like newlyweds again. Mostly.

I saw the boys that evening, since they spent the day with their Nana. We went out to dinner with them and my sister's family. It was great! I got to have Mexican food and see my boys! I swear, both of them had grown like 2 feet! B-rex is talking much better. And Cheese! He can do math now! Not complex math, but still! I can't believe how smart he is.

Last Wednesday, I began working on my Masters degree. It's an accelerated program, only 15 months. So, if all goes as planned - and when does it ever? but I can hope - I will be finished at the end of next September. Wow! Fast track! It's exciting, but a little overwhelming as well. We have class one night a week and a study group one night a week. Each class is 6 weeks long. That's it. Crazy!

I go back to work on Monday. I have some Latin meetings early in the week, then all-school stuff at the end of the week. Fun, fun, fun! In fact, I really should be looking over the curriculum, but I don't have it here. It's at the parsonage, where we've been living for a week.

Okay, gotta go! I'll try to have more interesting things to update about. My life, as it is, is not very exciting. Sorry.

Picture update again

2008-07-27T03:14:00.014-04:00

These are pictures from this week's adventures. I thought I had them in the right order, but turns out I was wrong. Oh, well. I'm getting older, I can't remember things properly anymore.

We begin our journey at the Villa of Hadrian. It is located outside of the city of Rome, in a town called Tivoli. Hadrian liked to have a little down time just like the rest of us. This is one of his reflecting pools, and no, that is not ancient Roman water:
This is also a picture from the Villa. This used to also be filled with water. It contained fish, we think. There are also rooms underneath, with passageways for people to move around:

This is from one of the many guest rooms in the Villa. I counted about 10 rooms, each with its own distinctive mosaic. I know how hard it is to make one of these things, on a much smaller scale. These were absolutely amazing!

And finally, a last look at the 2nd reflecting pool at the Villa. That man sure did like his water! In the background, I believe, are the baths. But I could be wrong there.

Below you will find a picture of an ancient road in Ostia. Ostia was built at the mouth of the Tiber River to provide a port for Rome, which was inland. This is the Decumanus Maximus, one of the main roads:

This is from the top of a column in the synagogue in Ostia. Notice the menorah. The synagogue sat way out towards the sea. It was quite a hike to get there.

After Ostia, I went to the beach with some friends. These are not my friends, just random Italians. But I wanted to show what the beach looked like. It was beautiful! And the water was freakishly cold.

This is a picture of a garden that we passed by after we visited Horace's Sabine farm. Italians have such pretty gardens!

This is me, standing in front of a waterfall/fountain near Horace's Sabine farm. It was really pretty and LOUD! Horace liked it so much, he immortalized it in a poem.

I took this picture from atop Hadrian's mausoleum, otherwise known as Castel San'Angelo. That's the Tiber River. I have many pictures of the great views, but not enough room to show them all here.

As you can tell, it was really windy up there! I was trying to get a picture with St. Peter's Basilica in the background, but I think I stood in front of it instead. Oops! I was too busy making sure my skirt didn't fly up.

I took this picture inside St. Peter's Basilica. That is the altar, the dark brown structure in the middle. Sorry, it's not the best quality picture. But it's dark in there, and the flash really doesn't help any.

And so concludes the saga of my adventures. As of tomorrow, I will be going home! I hope that you have enjoyed the journey with me. I know I have loved being here.

Please leave a comment so that I know who's been looking around here! Thanks, and have a great day!

the lazy days of summer

2008-07-26T16:19:00.003-04:00

Finally, a day that actually feels like a vacation! As you might have heard, our official tour ended yesterday in Rome. We have the whole weekend free to see anything we might have missed, or just other things we want to do.

Personally, if I see another museum anytime in the next year, I may go crazy. Seriously.

I got to sleep in today. Then I went and dropped off my laundry at the local launderette. It's a great concept, paying someone else to wash your dirty clothes. Wish that happened at home!

Then I wandered. I took the Metro to Spagna (near the Spanish Steps). I walked over to the Borghese Gardens again. I decided, as I was wandering, to go to the zoo. Or the Bioparc as they call it.

I saw a lion, two tigers, and two bears! (oh my!) I also saw a seal, some lemurs, a zebra, an ostrich, an elephant, a camel, some antelope, many kinds of birds, and various other animals. It was a nice little park. Honestly, I was a little let down. I expected, since Rome is such a huge city, that it would have a really impressive zoo. I found that it wasn't any better than our one at home. In fact, we had most of the same animals, just more of them! But it was nice to see it, and very restful.

I wandered back over near the Spanish steps, then down the Via del Corso a bit. That's one of the main shopping areas in Rome. I didn't buy anything! I veered off the main road for a bit, and took some of the smaller "viales". Those are like little roads. The larger roads in Rome are via. The smaller ones are viale. I found some viale.

I feel like I got to know the city a bit better today. I ended up over by the Campo dei Fiori, which I have mentioned several times. It's one of my favorite places in the city. Then I walked back over to Largo Argentina and caught the bus home.

I did take a nap this afternoon after I returned. It felt good!

Chanda, Jason, and I went out to dinner at a local place. We got to create our own pasta. Basically, you pick the sauce and the type of pasta you want. We each got something different, so we shared. It was good. And I have to say that Jason's tortellini with pesto was the best.

Now we're home, and I'm feeling a bit tired again. I don't really have any plans for tomorrow. I would like to find some silver sandals and a pair of jeans. But if not, I'm okay with that.

Officially Done

2008-07-25T19:02:00.003-04:00

This was it. The last day of our trip. The culmination of five weeks (years) of work.

We met in the morning for a few hours. Translated a letter that Pliny the Younger wrote about his villa. Of course! I had the 2nd sentence, which was the hardest one in the whole letter. No, really. it was!

Then we each shared something that we learned from the trip. Or how it will effect our teaching next year. We all pretty much agreed that it was great to actually dialogue with other Latin teachers. Some people are so isolated out there. I feel blessed that I actually have so many other Latin teachers to communicate with whenever I want to.

When we were done, I came upstairs and took a nap. I was tired after staying up late last night, working on my translation. Then Jason, Kate, and I went "chopping." (that is shopping) I didn't find anything, but we found 2 shirts and a tie for Jason! Yay! Now he has something to wear with his nice, new Italian suit. Sweet!

A bunch of us met to talk pedagogy with reference to Cambridge. That's our new textbook. There were about 8 of us. We sat in the back of a wine bar, had a glass or two, and a nice discussion. We were supposed to talk about the textbook, and some ideas on teaching with it. But it kind of evolved into a bitch session about how students don't know any English grammar. And some other stuff. But I did get a couple of good ideas to try out next year.

Then it was time for our final meal all together. Everyone but Allison went, because she had plans with a friend. It was fun, but really expensive. It was a very touristy restaurant. The food was okay. Not the best I've had, for the money.

Afterward, Chanda, Greg, Jason, Kate, James, Michael and I went walking around the Campo dei Fiori and over to Trastevere. In that part of town, they are celebrating the feast day of Saint Mary something. They dress up their image (statue) of Mary and carry her through the streets to the church. She hangs out there, all dressed up, for a week. Then they'll process her through the streets again, then put her back. There were so many people out! All the cafes and bars were open. People were milling about all over. We all sat on the curb and just watched them all go by. It was so neat to see a real part of Italian culture.

No big plans for the weekend yet. There's a group going to the Forum in the morning, but I think I'm just going to sleep in. I've been there before, and I need the rest. I'm just going to take it easy. I'd like to just wander around and see all the little alleys and such. You know, get to know the city a bit before I have to leave her.

Two more days!

All the Time, Everywhere

2008-07-25T06:37:00.003-04:00

I'm no Biblical scholar, but I was doing my daily devotion this morning. The verses really spoke to me today, for reasons that I will not share on the blog because my mom does not need to know everything her daughter does. My friends may understand, since perhaps they will be familiar with the word lemoncello. Enough said.

Psalm 139:1-12
Lord, you have examined me and knkow all about me.
You know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know my thoughts before I think them.
You know where I go and where I lie down
You know thoroughly everything I do.
LORD, even before I say a word, you already know it.
You are all around me - in front and in back - and have put your hand on me.
You knowledge is amazing to me, it is more than I can understand.
Where can I go to get away from your Spirit? Where can I run from you?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there. If I lie down in the grave, you are there.
If I rise with the sun in the east and settle in the west beyound the sea,
even there you would guide me, with your right hand you would hold me.
I could say, "The darkness will hide me. Let the light around me turn into night."
But even the darkness is not dark to you. The night is as light as the day; darkness and light are the same to you.

Refreshing, words I have heard time and again. Seeming to come at a time when I was sure no one knew what I was doing except the people I was with. And no, it wasn't anything bad. Nothing even remotely illegal or harmful to anyone.

Anyway, just something to think about.

The Last Day

2008-07-24T11:16:00.002-04:00

Today was our last day of sightseeing. Tomorrow, we just have a session in the morning, then we're done! I can hardly believe that it's almost over. It's bittersweet. That seems to be the consensus.

We began the morning at the Church of Saint Clemen. I think he was a pope, at least according to Church tradition. The current church building was built, I believe, in the 11th century. Under that is another building from the 4th century. And under that is an even older building. The original building was a Roman house, then an insula (apartment). Part of the insula was turned into a Mithraeum. Which we learned about the other day. Remember, it involved sacrificing a bull and was only for men. That was pretty neat.

There was also a room that had water running through it. Part of the wall was cut through, and the water was just gushing under there. It comes into Rome via aqueduct.

Next it was time to go to the Theater/Auditorium of Maecenas. He was a friend of Octavian Augustus. He was also a patronus/amicus of several poets including Virgil, Propertius and Horace. (You can Google them if you want to know more. He basically would give these guys a house or land or something, and they would feel obligated to mention him in something they wrote. Usually it was nice stuff, or at least a mention that was not totally mean. It sounds a lot like buying their work (free advertising!), but it was actually a little more complicated than that.

So Maecenas had this theater where people would go and read poetry and such. From the outside it looked like a nice place. Unfortunately, we couldn't get in. Even though the sign says that it is open every day from 9-1:30. And it was only, like, 11! So someone called, and they said that it wasn't open today (duh), but would be open on Saturday. Oh, well.

We then had some free time for lunch. Chanda, Jason, and I walked over to our next destination the Castel San'Angelo. After what seemed like forever, but was really only 30 minutes, we made it. We ate our "stolen" sandwiches (made at the hotel this morning, not really stolen) and sat in the shade. I also had a cup of watermelon, because that just looked GOOD!

At 2:00, we met the rest of the group. Sr. Therese gave us some background information on the site, which was originally designed by the emperor Hadrian. Remember him? Once his "friend" Antinoos (sp?) died, he got really morbid and decided to build himself a mausoleum. That's a place to be buried. It is pretty big, just like his villa was yesterday. It is also round, which is normal for that sort of thing.

We walked inside of it, all the way up to the top! It was crazy windy. As an aside, my skirt blew up several times, exposing me to the other people up there. Luckily, I don't think anyone was really paying attention, because they were looking at the incredible VIEW!! From up top, you can see most of the city of Rome. You've got a great view of St. Peter's basilica, and can see everything on top of each of the hills. I took lots of pictures, which will perhaps be taken from my camera today.

I left the castle with James, and accompanied him to Vatican City. We made it through the metal detectors and went into St. Peter's. As usual, it was completely immense and beautiful inside. I pretend not to be awed by the place, but in reality it is overwhelming. We wandered around inside for a little bit. Even went and had a look at Pope John Paul II, who is still lying in there, all waxed up. After we were finished, we went out and got to see the changing of the Swiss guard. That was neat. I took pictures.

Then we came back here to the compound, and here I am! Just a few more days, and the dream is over. Back to reality!

At the Big House

2008-07-23T11:10:00.002-04:00

So, it's just after 11 in the morning at home, but we're already back at the compound for the day. Tee-hee!

Today's adventures took us to two completely different villae. The first was (supposedly) Horace's Sabine Farm. Horace was a Roman poet. He wrote odes, epodes, and some satires. The ruins were not that impressive. Robyn joked that Horace must only have been about a foot and a half tall. The walls were only about that high off of the ground. And they all had asphalt or something on the tops of them, presumably to keep them from eroding or something. It was all very nicely laid out, with an easy-to-read map. Quite lovely.

But it didn't really seem real. Like, it was too perfectly ruined. I dunno. And we weren't allowed to take pictures there. At all! Greg even had to ask permission to take a picture of the sky! But he did take some on the sly. Shhhh!

Then we went up to a fons. That's a fountain. It was a waterfall! It was a loud waterfall. But it was very pretty. And we were allowed to take pictures of that. I took a couple.

Then we got back on the bus and headed over to Hadrian's Villa. Hadrian was an emperor a while back. Obviously, he had more money than Horace. Well, he built this villa out in a place called Tivoli, out of the city of Rome. You know, even an emperor has to get away sometime!

It was magnificent! The walls were about 3 times the size of normal house walls. And there were so many different parts. It wasn't all one big villa. There was the library area. One library for Latin authors, one for Greek authors. There were TWO bath complexes. And remember that when the Romans took a bath they had three different rooms and lots of stuff involved. (See this previous post.) He also had a stadium, where they could have entertainments and races; TWO large reflecting pools; a winter triclinium (dining room); a summer triclinium; not to mention the private parts of the house. WOW! I took a lot of pictures.

I am planning to load my pictures to my computer today, so I hope to be able to upload some tonight. Get caught up, ya know?

We still have our translation and presentation stuff to do tonight. I'm off the hook, but I think a couple more people still have to go. I hope it doesn't last too long, I'm a bit tired and don't want to be rude and fall asleep!

And even more fun!

2008-07-22T17:29:00.002-04:00

Monday

It seemed like a long morning. We had our morning session at the compound. Ron did his presentation about the Pantheon. While I have been to the Pantheon several times, I learned a lot of new information.

Then Amanda did her presentation on Mithraism. That's an ancient cult that involved the slaying of bulls. It was limited to men and very secretive. It spread throughout the Roman world toward the end of the 1st century AD.

Then we went over translation. Bor-ing! I almost fell asleep. I have to admit, this makes me really want to make translation more interesting for my own students. Having someone translate AT me is no fun. Yuck!

We had some time for lunch, then met over at the Pantheon. We wandered around there for a while, then went over to St. Cecilia's in Trastevere. (On the way, I stopped and had a lemon granita. Yummy!) (And we rode on a tram.) We had the opportunity to see some ruins under the church. It was cool. It was a house that then became an insula (apartment). Under the church! We also saw some paintings upstairs that were done by some famous artist. I can't remember his name.

Then Kate, Jason, Michael, and I walked around Trastevere for a while. And then over to the Campo dei Fiori. We were shopping around. We also walked most of the way down the Corso. Jason was looking for shirts and ties to go with his new suit that he bought. Kate and I were looking for jewelry to go with my cute new red dress that I bought last week.

It was a fun evening, topped off with my excellent bartering skills. I got a pair of earrings for 6 euros, and a bracelet for 4 euros. Nice! We also had a nice dinner.

Tuesday:
We took the train to Ostia Antica. Honestly, I was just there last month, so I wasn't too terribly excited about being there again. But we didn't see ANYTHING compared to the last time. We went to the Neptune baths, one house, and the synagogue. That's all. And we were there for like 2 hours! The synagogue was the coolest part. It is way far out from the rest of the town, near to where the shore would have been. My initial thought was: the Romans kicked them out, ostracized them. But really, it was because they wanted to be near to the water, for their ritual cleansing.

Then I went to the beach with James, Nancy, and Robyn. it was a fun time. It was really windy, so the sand kept blowing in my face. And the water was FREEZING! But once you got all the way in, it wasn't too bad. It reminded me of the beaches at home. There were actually shells on this beach, which I hadn't seen at the previous two. And lots of surf. So many waves! It was nice to just lay there and relax.

Afterwards, we went to Termini for dinner. Termini is the train/bus station. There is also a lot of shopping there. We wandered around there for a while. Then we came back to the compound.

Such a nice, relaxing day today. Tomorrow, I think we are traveling by bus. Interesting!

Pictures with me and my friends

2008-07-20T16:14:00.012-04:00

Okay, so it's time to put some faces with those names I've been dropping. These are the lovely folks that I have been hanging out with in Italy.

This is at the Hard Rock Cafe. It is me, our server Mossimo, Diana, and Carrie.

This is on the Appian Way. That's Jason, Chanda, Michael, and Greg. They've been my main crew through most of the trip.

This is at the Trevi Fountain. That's me, throwing in my coin. Carrie took the pic.

This is at the Domus Aurea. That's Kate and Sister Therese. Kate doesn't usually wear a hard hat. But they made us. Can't be too careful underground!

This is in our room in Pompeii. That's the back of Dawn's head. Kate and I did that cool braid.

This is on top of Mount Vesuvius. This is Allison.

Also on top of Vesuvius. This is James.

This is at the Cave of the Sibyl. That's Robin. She was channeling the Sibyl and prophesying. Not really, but she's pretty crazy most of the time.

There are about 20 other people that I spend my days with. They are all incredibly cool and incredibly strange all at the same time. I have often told my students that all Latin teachers are weird. I can now say that my statement is 100% true. BUT, they are also really neat. What an amazing opportunity, to spend so much time learning with others who have interests like mine. WOW!

Give me Liberty!

2008-07-20T16:03:00.002-04:00

Today was by far the most relaxing day we've had so far. While yesterday was nice, I still didn't feel like it was very relaxing. But today, today was relaxed.

I slept late. And by late, I mean like 8:30! Went down, had some breakfast. Came back upstairs. Read my new book for a little while.

But I was bored. Who knew? Who would have ever thought?

So I went out with Diana and Carrie.

We started out the day at the Borghese Gardens. Lovely. We saw the Temple of Aesclepious. He was thought to be the healing god. People would go to his temple to be healed of their ailments. (I could really use him right now, because I have a splitting headache!)

There is a little pond in front of his temple. You can rent rowboats. Which kind of worries me, because the pond is really not all that big. But whatever! There were some fish, ducks, and turtles hanging out in the water.

Then we went over to this fountain. It has the inscription: VITAE LAUDEM MURMURE SUO FONS CANIT. "The fountain sings the praise of life with its own murmur." Nice, huh? We sat there for a while, just being. I like being. It's nice.

Then we went over to the Villa Julia. Which sounds like it should be a house. Belonging to someone named Julia. And perhaps at some point it was. However, now it is a museum. Yes, I went to another one. But this one had lots of pretty gardens outside. Pretty. Inside, there were lots of things. Urns, bowls, mirrors, cups, swords, things from temples, jewelry. Wow! We were there about 2 hours.

I think that I have officially met my museum quota for the next 10 years. Seriously.

Anyway, after that, we needed some fun. So, Carrie wanted to get a tshirt from the Hard Rock Cafe. Coincidentaly, we were not too far away from the Cafe. So we went. And it was AWESOME! I had a bacon cheeseburger and french fries. It was like heaven. Really. Grease never tasted so good! I even stopped being so homesick for a couple of hours. It was nice.

And our waiter was cool. When Diana told him that we were Latin teachers, he started quoting Catullus at us! What are the chances?

In all, it was a fun day. Very relaxing. Which is good, since we start again tomorrow. Only 5 more days of go-go-go. Then 2 more days of rest. Then the plane ride. Then I'm HOME!

Leisure time

2008-07-19T15:59:00.003-04:00

Today we were off from the main study days. So what did I do on my first day of rest? Went to a museum.

It's the Palazzo Altemps. It used to be the resident of a Cardinal of the Catholic Church. The guy had a really impressive collection of artwork, let me tell you!

There were a lot of 1st and 2nd century pieces of mythological figures. I got some good pictures of various gods and goddesses.

Before the museum, Carrie and I went by the Trevi Fountain. Legend has it, that if you throw a coin over your shoulder into the fountain, you will return to Rome. Yes, I know it's silly. But I did it. It's worked every time so far!

After the museum, we went and found some food. We actually ate Chinese food! In Rome! It was pretty good. It wasn't nearly as greasy as the Chinese at home. Quite nice. Then we spent a little time in a bookstore. I bought a copy of Colleen McCullough's Antony and Cleopatra. I don't have that particular book yet. She has written an entire series about ancient Rome, which I highly recommend if you haven't read it. It's not really, really boringly historical. Pretty entertaining.

Anyway, then I went and got my nails done. 'Nuff said.

Then we came back here to the compound. We did stop on the way home and get a gelato. I had nutella and menta flavors. They were SOOOOOO good! Have I mentioned that I love gelato? I wish I could bring some of that home with me. It is so yummy.

All in all, it was a good day. It was not too stressful, and my feet do not feel as bad today. I don't really have any plans for tomorrow. I'm sure that I will find something to do. I'd like to go back to the Via del Corso or over to the Campo del Fiori. Or down Tritone street. Who knows?

update on pictures

2008-07-18T16:19:00.012-04:00

Okay, these pictures are in some semblance of order. At least the dates are. Sorry! It's late where I am!

This is the famous statue of the she-wolf, Lupa, suckling the twins. Those are Romulus and Remus. Romulus killed his brother then founded the city of Rome. Or maybe he started to found Rome, then killed his brother before he finished. Yeah, I think that's it.

This is a room in the Domus Aurea. If you remember, we discussed that this was the emperor Nero's house. Party palace, I should say. You can still see some of the colors on the wall. If you squint and use your imagination!

This is a picture of a little church I stopped at the other day. It is teeny. It's all nestled back in a corner near the Campo del Fiori. I said a little prayer and lit a candle for my favorite sister! Love ya!

This is a sign used by early Christians. I saw it at the Catacombs of Domatilla. Early Christians used this sign to show which way to go to a church service. Remember, Christianity was still illegal back then. Whichever way the fish was looking, that's the way to go!

This is the spina and meta from the hippodrome on the Appian Way. A spina is the middle of the racetrack, around which the chariots would race. A meta is the round part at the far left, called the turning point. A hippodrome is where chariots would race. That's Jason jumping off the meta. They asked us not to climb on the ruins. Oops.

This is a picture from the Baths of Caracalla. It is really hard to get a sense of the grand scale of this place. So, notice the person standing in the foreground. Then look at the rest of the structure. Now, do some math. This place was HUGE!!!

This is me, standing on the Appian Way. The Via Appia was the first road that was made to/from Rome. It went all the way down the coast. The maker was Appius Claudius. Hence the name. This part of the road is actually the original. It's over 2000 years old. And I stood on it. Even walked a few steps! Wow!

This is a pretty fountain in the Piazza della Repubblica. I just thought it was pretty. It has no historical significance that I know of.

This is my buddy Augustus that I've been talking so much about. Octavianus Augustus Caesar. Here, he is dressed in the Pontifex Maximus outfit. That's the high priest in the Roman religion. This is a famous statue. Commit it to memory.

This is a cool inscription from the epigraphy museum in the Baths of Diocletian. It is the funeral inscription of a Christian named Priscus. Note the dove and chi rho at the top, both Christian symbols. The inscription reads: "Priscus, who lived 36 years, died on the 5th day before the Kalends of June (May 28). His brother made this. Rest in peace." And yes, I really just translated that. I didn't make it up.

Anyway, here ends my lectures for today. I will hopefully have more pictures/stories tomorrow!

The Age of Augustus

2008-07-18T16:08:00.002-04:00

Caesar that is, not my B-rex.

So, today I learned everything I never wanted to know about Octavian Augustus Caesar. Wow! That boy had it rough. He was adopted by Julius Caesar. Was given a top-notch education, including study in Athens. Then, Julius gets himself stabbed. So Octavian has to come home. Only, people want him dead too. But he gets out of that. Then later, he fights with Julius' old buddy, Marc Antony. And he wins! So now, Octavian gets to rule the world! The Roman world anyways.

Turns out, Octavian was really a busy guy. He spent some time in Egypt, where he saw an obelisk he liked. He "asked" some guys to bring it back to Rome for him. Which they did, of course. And he set that sucker up as the pointer of a GIGANTIC sundial. In a HUGEMONGOUS open area. Like the size of a few football fields! And it actually kept track, pretty accurately, of the days, weeks, months, zodiac signs (always important), and even the equinoxes. Pretty coool! Too bad all that has been built over. I say that we should just get rid of all those buildings. They're just the Italian Parliament. Not terribly important. (ha ha)

The obelisk still stands, though it has been moved from its original place. Due to the aforementioned buildings.

We did get to go under a church where archeologists have found part of the sundial. However, since that part of Rome often floods (it's called the Campus Martius), they can't leave it open to be looked at. Since they don't want the church to fall down. I did get to see some creepy cool skulls and bones, though. Neat-o!

Also saw the Ara Pacis today. Augustus had it built to commemorate the peace he brought to the Republic/Empire. Quite impressive. Really, it looks like a giant box with the top missing. But once someone points out all the symbolism in the friezes, it becomes cooler to nerds like me.

Did some laundry tonight. There is a laundromat not too far from the compound. And the lady there just does it for you. So, I have all clean clothes!!!! Except what I have on! Yay!!! It's the little things, isn't it?

A Down Day?

2008-07-17T15:49:00.002-04:00

Today was not quite as busy as yesterday. Which is good. I thought I would fall down from sheer exhaustion!

This morning, we visited the Casae Romanae. Those of you with Spanish training should be able to figure out what that is. The Roman Houses! There is a church, whose name escapes me, with 5 levels of Roman housing underneath. Unfortunately, we were only able to see the top-most layer, I think. The rest we could see through holes in the floor, but not actually reach out and touch. Darn it.

The one level was cool though, because it had an inscription about John and Paul, who were martyred for the sake of Jesus. There was also an altar there. And other ancient stuff. Neat!

Then a group of us went to the Baths of Diocletian. He was an emperor in the 3rd century AD. We did get to go in the Baths, but not in the same way we were in the Baths of Caracalla yesterday. These Baths have been rebuilt as other buildings. Like a church. And a museum. And some other stuff. The church we went into is Santa Maria with Angels, or something. It was HUGE and only took up about 1/10 of the total original Baths.

I can't explain it, you'll just have to come see it yourself.

We also went into 2 museums. Yes, I went into 2 museums. In the same day. And my head did not explode, though I seriously thought it would. The first one held a lot of inscriptions. Like writing etched in marble or other stone. It's called epigraphy. It's cool. I tried to take pics of some to show my students.

The second museum had a lot of statues. Including one famous statue of the emperor Augustus (27 BC-14 AD) dressed in his Pontifex Maximus robes. I'd actually never heard of it, but maybe someone else out there has. We specifically went to this museum, the Palasso Massimo, to view a room from Livia's house. It contains the wall paintings (frescoes) from her dining room (triclinium). They are very pretty!

Livia was the wife of Augustus. I think. It's hard to keep all those women straight, especially since very little is written about them.

After that museum, Kate, Carrie, and I went to eat lunch, then over to St. Peter's Basilica. That is also known as Vatican City, for those of you who don't know or may be confused. Since I had just been there last month, I didn't feel the need to go back into the basilica itself. Instead, I just went into the gift shop, where I bought gifts for several family members. And yes, I know they are not all Catholic, but deal. It's from a foreign country. That alone makes it cool.

After that, we went back to the compound/hotel. not too strenuous.

I have been trying, somewhat unsuccessfully, to get the past few days worth of pictures off of the camera. It is taking a long time. I promise that I will post some as soon as I finish.

Looking forward to the weekend. Once we're done tomorrow, around 5:00, I am free until Monday morning! Some folks are talking about going to Orvieto on Saturday. I don't know. It is an ancient Etruscan city. And I've never been there. But it requires taking a train. And those aren't cheap. It's like 15 Euro round trip (about $25). Plus food. And entrance to whatever sights are up there. But what would I do if I stayed here? Sit around all day, most likely.

Oh, decisions. If only my Hubs were here! He'd help me decide! Maybe I should have asked him when I was talking to him earlier. Oh. well.

Aliae Villae

2008-07-16T13:57:00.003-04:00

So, I have lost count of how many Roman villae I have seen since coming ad Italiam just 2 short weeks ago. Villae are country houses. they are usually a pretty good size, and contain many rooms. Most of the rooms are situated around the central atrium, which was open to the air and often had a small pool in the middle to catch rainwater (impluvium). Remember, these were the days before indoor plumbing was big!

Yesterday, we saw the largest villa of all, by far. It was the Domus Aurea, which was built by the emperor Nero. It took up, I believe, four hills in Rome, not to mention the valleys in between. How did he manage this?

Well, in 64 AD, there was a big fire, and much of Rome burned to the ground. It makes sense, since everything was made of wood. Anyway, Nero took the opportunity to buy up a lot of property. The complex, and that's really what it was, contained all sorts of rooms and areas. There was a whole section of the house (domus) that was just for entertaining! Nero was a big partier! And one of the valleys, where the Colosseum now sits, was actually an artificial lake. There was also a large statue of Nero as Apollo the sun god (the colossus) outside the lake. The lake was, apparently, in the midst of a large pastoral area.

Nero had more money than sense. Bless his heart!

Anyway, I got to go into part of the Domus Aurea (Golden House) in the afternoon. I had been there previously, in college, but had not been back since. Evidently part of the ceiling had collapse, so they didn't want anyone to get hurt. I got to wear a hard hat!

In the morning, before the D.A., we went to the Colosseum. Since I was just at the Colosseum last month, it was not quite as exciting as you might expect. I didn't really wander as much as I normally do. But I did see this cool exhibit on Roman Triumphs. Roman generals had a triumph when they won a war. It was like a big parade, kind of like a baseball team winning the World Series or something. There were coins, friezes, frescos, etc. I took lots of pictures, which I will share when the time is right. Like when I get them off the camera.

Today, we saw dead people. Well, not really. We went to the Catacombs of Domatilla. That's where early Christians buried their dead. They are underground, in 4 levels. It was cold down there! I recommend a sweater if you visit. It was pretty neat. There was a painting in a vault which depicted Peter and Paul on either side of Jesus, listening to the story of the dead man, preparing to judge his destination. It was neat. No pictures of this stuff. Most of the graves were empty, as grave robbers had stolen the bodies.

Before that, we had been to the Baths of Caracalla. He was an emperor (wasn't everyone?). He built really big baths. See, in ancient times, not everyone had a bathroom in their house. In fact, it was pretty uncommon. So the Romans had public baths. There was a changing room where you left your clothes. A warm bath (tepidarium). A hot bath (calidarium). A cold bath (frigidarium). There were even places to work up a sweat, like a gym (palaestra). And when I say "bath", it's not like they took soap and scrubbed. The "bath" was more a swimming pool.

When you finished sweating and "bathing", you went to a separate room and got rubbed down with oils and perfumes. Then a slave scraped it all off with a strigil. Not exactly hygenic to us, but it was normal back then.

Anyway, we also saw a large tomb today. And then went out to the Villa of the Quintili. It's pretty big also. These brothers, the Quintili, had done well for themselves. They had a big round room and baths. Right in the house! Unfortunately, they got killed when they got on the emperor's bad side. I can't remember which emperor, or else you'd get another lecture.

Tomorrow, we're going to see some church that has the remains of yet ANOTHER house under it. I have never seen this many houses before! Not even when Hubs and I were house hunting! I hope I don't go crazy after all this.

Some pictures!

2008-07-15T14:41:00.008-04:00

Here are some pictures from Rome. I have tried to be brief in my explanations, but I can't make any promises! I am a teacher after all!

Pink Puffy tree outside of our hotel. These are actually called mimosa trees. They are GiGi's favorite type of tree!

The Italian flag flying in front of the Victor Emmanuelle building. The building is commonly referred to as a "wedding cake" because of all its layers. The Italians don't like it much. But I thought it was a cool shot.

A piece of the Palace of Domitian. He was an emperor in the first century AD. He built a HUGE palace on the Palatine Hill in Rome. He built over several other former royal residences, so there are layers and layers of ruins there. It's cool!

This is a picture of me (duh) on the Circus Maximus. The Circus was used for horse racing in ancient time. Now, you will notice that there are not any ruins in the background. That's because the Circus was used as a quarry for many other buildings in Rome. So there's nothing left. It's just a big open field. Cool!!!

This is a shot of the Roman Forum from the Capitoline Museum. You will see the Arch of Septimus Severus there in the foreground. All the way over to the right is the Basilica Julia. Strangely enough, in ancient times a basilica was not a church in ancient times. It was used as a meeting place and market. This particular one was named after Julius Caesar's daughter. Daughters were always named after their fathers, just a feminine form. Julius to Julia.

This is the required shot of the Colosseum. The street outside of here, the Via del Imperiori Fori, was actually closed off to auto traffic on Sunday, so I stood out in the middle of the street for this picture. Usually, you can't do that, as there is a LOT of traffic there. It's one of the main roads in Rome.

In the City, the hot, hot city

2008-07-14T10:21:00.002-04:00

So, after we went to Capri last week, we had a short session on Friday, then the rest of the day free. I didn't really do much, just some laundry and packing. I picked up a couple of souvenirs for the boys too. Slow day. Honestly, I was wicked bored. I wish I'd gone out somewhere to do SOMETHING. A lot of the group went to the beach in Sorrento, but I'd just gone the day before. And nobody asked me. You know how I hate to invite myself along anywhere.

So Saturday was another traveling day. We left Pompeii, then went to Formiae, where Cicero's tomb is located. In case you don't know, Cicero was a Roman orator. He was a "new man", meaning his family didn't have old money. He'd kind of started at the bottom and worked his way up. He was also a consul (like a co-president) at one point. Mostly, though, he advocated for people. Lots of his speeches survive, they were just that good! He's not my favorite Roman author, too long-winded for me. He does get grammar and style points, however.

Then, after lunch, which was amazing!, we went to Arpinum. This is Cicero's hometown. We got to go to the piazza, where there is a statue of Cicero. There is also some Roman road that is being excavated. And busts of Gaius Marius and Agrippa. You can look them up if you want. Both were important in Roman times.

Finally, we arrived in Rome. Now, I've been here a few times. The last one less than 4 weeks ago! But we're staying in a different kind of hotel. It's actually a monastery, I think. I know that there is a huge chapel, and people they call "brothers." You figure it out. Basically, you walk in, and there are concrete walls and a gate. It's a bit intimidating. To some people. You know that kind of stuff doesn't bother me!

Yesterday, we had yet another free day! It seems like that's all we do, but I promise that when we tour, we go HARD!

Anyway, I went with some buddies around the city. We started at the Capitoline Museum, which is totally cool. I hadn't been there since college. There are tons of statues and busts (the head and shoulders) of gods, goddesses, and famous ancients. I got a couple of shots of Sophocles and Homer. I hope they come out.

Next, it was off to eat some lunch! Then to the Piazza Navona. There's a really cool fountain there: Four Rivers. However, it has been under construction for like 2 years now. I don't know what they're doing, but they need to finish! You can't see the fountain hardly at all, just the obelisk sticking out of the top. (An obelisk is a tall, skinny thing. Like the Washington Monument. Only these are much smaller.)

Then we walked around to the Pantheon. The over to the Area Sacra. That was cool. They've found these 4 temples which date from the 4th century BC. They've also uncoverd Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus' portico (porch), where Julius Caesar was supposedly stabbed on March 15, 44 BC. Cool, huh?

Then we walked over to the Tiber river, and crossed some bridges. We also went onto the Isola Tivertina (Tiber Island) which is where the Romans used to have a hospital. Good idea, since it's surrounded by water. Keeps the diseases from escaping!

Then it was down to the Circus Maximus. You can't actually see much of the structure anymore, only a tiny corner of it is visible. But there is a dirt track there, which kind of follows the original course. The Circus was used for horse racing in ancient times. It's like NASCAR, but with horses instead. I'd never actually walked on the track before, so that was really cool! I even took a picture of my feet on the Circus. So cool!!!! And yes, that makes me a big nerd, but I'm okay with that.

That was the end of our day. We took the Metro back to the hotel/prison, and settled down for the night.

Hands hurt now. Will update more later. And perhaps add some pictures.

Isle of Capri

2008-07-10T17:10:00.000-04:00

Today was such a fun day. I got to sleep in until after 8:00! Then, I went with some of my new friends to Capri. We took the HydroFoil over to the island. It's like a giant speedboat. Very choppy waters on the way over. I almost lost my crossaint. Then we rode up the funicular (cable car) and walked up to the Villa Iovis. It's where the emperor Tiberius lived the last 10 or so years of his life. Anyway, it is all the way up on the northeast tip of the island. It took about an hour to walk up there. But the view!!! So worth it.

Then we went to the beach. I can't wait to show everyone the pictures! The beach is all rocks. Smooth rocks, but still rocks. I had to wear my flip-flops into the water, because walking on the rocks hurt my feet. The water there is so clear! And I think even more so because there is no sand to muck it up. We stayed there for a couple of hours, then went to catch the boat back to the mainland.

The mainland 'porto' is Sorrento. Such a beautiful city! One of my favorite places in Italia. We walked up to the main square and found a place for dinner. I had a yummy pizza with cheese, ham, and mushrooms. So good! And a tomato salad (sliced tomatoes drizzled with olive oil and some herbs - mmmmmm!). Once we all finished eating, we decided to go back to Pompeii where we are staying. We caught the Circumvesuviana (the local train), and headed back.

It was such a great day. Tomorrow, we only have a short session in the morning, then the rest of the day free again. I think some people are talking about going back to Sorrento. We didn't really get to look around there much, and I would like to buy folks some souvenirs!

On the way, to Pompeii

2008-07-03T17:39:00.004-04:00

OMG! I have been in Italia for 4 days now. I promise that I will update pictures soon. We have been staying in Cumae at the Villa Vergiliana. The Internet here is really slow, so I have not been able to upload anything. Sorry! When we get to Pompeii, hopefully the connection will be better, and I'll be able to upload some pics.

We have been all over the Bay of Baiae. We visited the island of Ischia. It is beautiful! Very lush and green. We took a ferry over, which was cool. We saw the inside of a museum. There was also a church with some ancient Greek ruins under it. They were really cool. (And it was nice and cool down there, which was good because it was HOT outside!) Then my new friends Chanda, Diana, Andrea, and I went out to lunch at a restaurant overlooking the beach. We even navigated the local bus system to get there! Then we went swimming!!!! The water was clear, cool, and wonderful. It was perfect after a hot day.

The second day we went to Cumae. I will tell you about that tomorrow. Or whenever.

BTW, if you've not had Italian wine lately, I highly recommend it. We've got this nice wine in a juice carton. Only $2 per box! Red. Try it!

Traveling Man (and Woman)

2008-06-27T16:26:00.010-04:00

And children. Our next day included leaving our hotel Tuscany Inn and going back on the road. This time, our last stop would be Rome, the Eternal City.

On our way, we stopped in a couple of different places.

First was the town of Siena. I think even Hubs likes this place. He's not a fan of touristy places, but Siena is so beautiful it's hard to resist.

We walked a lot (more steps!!!) to the Duomo there. Most Italian towns have a Duomo. They are all of varying size, depending on how large the town is. Since it was Sunday, we couldn't get into that one. Imagine, they were having Mass. Actually using the church! So we ended up with a little more free time to walk around and shop. Even the teenage boys found stuff they wanted. And there's a big square in Siena, where they have horse races every year. It's really cool. (I know the grammar there was bad, sorry)

Nice, yes? Our next stop was Ostia Antica.

Little history lesson. Ostia was built at the mouth of the Tiber River by the emperor Nero. Why? Rome was having trouble getting trade, because some of the larger boats could not navigate up the river. So Nero filled in some marshland, and voila! Port city to the capitol of the world!

There are so, so many ruins there. Our guide was very knowledgeable, but he talked really quickly. The kids could not keep up. So, after about 2 minutes, they just tuned out. They did sort of pretend to pay attention, but mostly they just talked amongst themselves. Elena (our travel guru) gave them a stern talking to on the bus. In their defense, they had been on a bus all afternoon. And been to many other places. I guess they were just on overload that day. Teenagers!

We did get to see some baths, complete with mosaics of Neptune on the floors. We also go to go to the theater and the Forum. I wish we could have spent more time there, but I know the children were eager to get going. Sometimes, riding in a bus can really tire you out. Bye Ostia!

In the here and now, I am finally finished with my presentation. Now all I have to do is copy a handout and map, and do the thing! Yay! I have a nifty little powerpoint that I will use for my official project. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your viewpoint, I will not really have access to a computer/projector for my actual presentation. I will be on-site at the House of Menander in Pompeii. That's the day before my birthday!

Anyway, I'm having fun here in Baltimore. It seems to be a nice place. Warm, sunny. I'm about tired of dining hall food, though. Sheesh!

And I miss my boys something fierce! Wish I could get home to visit them tomorrow. Too far.

Up, Up, and Away!

2008-06-26T22:39:00.009-04:00

The next day of our whirlwind trip to Italy as leaders of a group of middle school students. How's that? I talked to my man tonight. He wants to know why there aren't more pictures of him. Well, I don't know. So i will attempt to include more pictures of my man. He's awfully good-looking. I hope everyone enjoys looking at him.

And no, that's not me. It's one of the other chaperones. But I thought it was a cute picture. We were having too much fun!

That leads me to the day in question. Florence. We spent the whole day there. Our first stop was the Accademia, which is a HUGE museum. Now, I'm not normally a museum person. I will be the first to admit that. But this place is pretty freakin' aweseme. There are lots of great statues (which we didn't get to see). And one of them, um, is the David. You know, the big one. By Michaelangelo. Large, naked guy. Unfortunately, you are not allowed to take pictures AT ALL in there. So I have nothing. You can look for a picture of it on the web. I'm sure there are some out there. I have one of the imitation 'David' which is in a piazza in another part of Florence:

Evidently the original David used to stand in this piazza. But I guess people kept trying to mess it up, so they moved it into the Accademia. The picture above is just a fake one. This piazza actually has a whole gallery of statues. It is right near the Uffizzi Gallery (spelling?). There are lots of cool statues! I highly recommend seeing this area.

Later that day, we went over to the Duomo. If you didn't know, the Duomo is the main church in a town. It usually has a big dome and is very important. The one in Florence is particularly important. There are lots of famous people buried there. It is quite neat looking on the outside. It's like striped, a couple of different colors.

One of the coolest parts of the day was after lunch. We had some time to kill before our cooking lesson. We had 3 choices: climb the cuppola of the Duomo, climb the belltower, tour the Bapistry. Unfortunately, there was only time for one. I "chose" to climb the Duomo. I don't remember the exact number of stairs, but it was a fairly large number. The kids that made the trek thought it was pretty cool. It was a hard climb, I won't deny it. I huffed, and I puffed, but I made it. And the view!

Aren't we cute? We were so excited to make it to the top!

After that, we had our cooking lesson. We went to the Koine Cafe. The ladies who run the place taught the kids how to make pesto sauce, tomato sauce, and a mushroom sauce. Then they made pasta. From scratch. And rolled it out. And cut it. We had linguine and bow tie (they call it butterfly). It was great!

Ahhhhh! The finished product. Looks good, no?

After dinner, we went on to our hotel. The kids were a little hyped up, but overall okay. It was a good day.

On the Water and In the Fields

2008-06-25T21:12:00.013-04:00

So, on Day Two of the student trip, we went to Venice. I have had a special request from my mom to include lots of pictures. She's never been, and might not make it there anytime soon, but she does ask a lot of questions. I also took lots of pictures so that I could explain it better to Cheese. He really doesn't get the whole "city on the water" thing. Which is pretty crazy to explain to a 5-year-old. So, without futher ado, here are some pictures of Venezia:These are just generic Venice pictures. In fact, I think I took them on the water bus over. Yes, there is a bus, on the water, that goes from the mainland to the islands. Did you know that Venezia was actually built on over 200 individual islands? And that there are lots of natural sandbars that provided protection? I am just full of useful information!

These are pictures from the Palazzo Ducale, otherwise known as the Doge's Palace. This is real 24-karat gold leaf!

Shiny! Pretty! Wish I could have climbed up there to "borrow" some!

Lucky us. We even got to ride a gondola. It was fun! I had not been on one before, so that was a special treat.

And, yes. Hubs got to ride too!
We also went to a glass-blowing factory, which was cool. We watched a guy make a vase in less than 4 minutes! Honest. There was barely time to get a camera out, which is why there are no pictures of that. By the time I got it out and turned on, he was almost done. In my defense, no one else got pictures either. Guess we're just slow.

Day Three: To Modena and Fiesole. In Modena, we got to see how balsamic vinegar is made. We even got to taste several varieties, and learned all about the local history. Only certain b.v. is allowed to be called authentic. And it has to be aged at least 25 years! Wow! It was pretty cool. They let it ferment in black barrels, the oldest of which was from 1860.

Honestly? Not a big fan. However, I have started using oil and vinegar on my salads. No more dressings for me! Well, at least until I get home.

After Modena, we went to Fiesole. One of the highlights of the trip for me. I had never been there, and it was really, wicked cool! Fiesole was originally an Etruscan town. Those were the people who lived up north from the Romans. The Romans borrowed (stole) a lot of religion and stuff from them. Then they conquered them. The Romans conquered the Etruscans, like they did nearly everyone else. Anyway, Fiesole has some neat ruins. A theater, a temple, some baths. Totally neat! (I know, I'm a nerd. Deal.)

This last picture is of the cold water pool. The calidum et tepidarium were up the hill a bit, closer to the furnace. Makes sense, since you'd want the water to be hot and warm. Smart guys, those Romans!

Okay, almost halfway done. I'll work some more tomorrow night, maybe. And definitely I'll finish this weekend. Just in time to update from this second trip! I'm still in Baltimore. We're translating like there's no tomorrow. Now I understand why my students panic whenever I hand them translation. After all this time, I've forgotten how it works!

Big Ideas

2008-06-24T20:34:00.006-04:00

Well, I had this whole plan that I was going to be updating my blog with all my fun adventures. Then, turns out, I didn't have Internet access the entire first trip to Italy. Of course. I took TONS of pictures, but didn't get to post any of them. I will try to get those up. Well, some of them.

I really had a great time. I think Hubs did too, even if he did complain about some of the parents. We got to see some really great places.

The first day, once we arrrived, was mostly on a bus. We flew into Bologna (not pronounced Baloney) and got on a bus to Verona. In Verona, there is a totally cool arena. An amphitheater, like the Colosseum, only in better shape. They were actually getting it ready for opera season, and there were stage props and stuff for Aida.

Pretty cool, huh? Then we stopped for some gelato. I did not partake. That day.

Then it was off to Juliet's house. You know, like Romeo and Juliet. Her:

Anyway, we know she probably wasn't a real person, but still. Shakespeare wrote a whole story about her and Romeo, and now Verona has this statue of her. If you notice, her chest area is a slightly different color than the rest of her. That's because the rumor is: if you go up to her, and rub/touch where her heart is, you'll be lucky in love. Well, I did that in college when I was there last, and I got Hubs. Obviously, the luck worked!

After that, we hopped back on the bus and drove the rest of the way to our hotel. It was nice. We were just the right combination of tired and worn out. I slept deeply and well.

More on the rest of the trip later. Right now, I've got to do some research for the second trip!

Leaving On a Jet Plane

2008-06-10T10:57:00.003-04:00

In about an hour, we will leave to drive down to Atlanta. There, we will meet my dad and stepmom who will be watching the boys while we're away. Then, off to the airport to meet all the children and parents who have entrusted their younguns to me. We fly out tonight just before 9:00. We fly into Paris in the morning, then off to Bologna. We're scheduled to arrive at 2:30 local time in the afternoon.

I am so excited! This time tomorrow, we'll be almost there! Right now, I have to go call the banks and credit companies to let them know I'll be abroad. So they don't block my account or anything.

I'll be checking in, hopefully with pictures. What an awesome day!

Oh, and happy anniversary to me and Hubs. It's eight years today!

Craziness I tell you

2008-06-04T17:54:00.003-04:00

I must have lost my mind. I actually volunteered to be the head Latin person for the district while T is on maternity leave next year. What was I thinking? That means that I'll be the go-to person for all 6 of the Latin teachers in the district. I'll be in charge of the paperwork, the meetings, the curriculum, the in-services, everything. Yikes! Well, it's only one year. Then T will be back. She'd better come back.

I leave for Italy in 6 days. Am I ready? Well, I thought so. It's the biggest trip yet, 30 people! 17 kids ranging in age from 9 to 14. 13 adults. (I'm counting Hubs as an adult, even though he won't admit to actually being one.) What am I thinking? I'm thinking that I love it over there. That it is worth any price just to see the land again. To feel the ruins under my hands. To smell the lush fields and taste that gelato. We're going to Venice this time. When I think about the last time I was there.... it was a different time. I was so young then. Only 21! There will be no wandering around the various bridges this time. It will only be a day. Wish we could stay there longer. And Verona. And Florence! Maybe we can take a look at those leather markets again. I need a new belt, since the ones I bought back in college will NOT fit me anymore. That was a while ago.

Anyway, just waiting now. Hubs is on his way home with his parents. They want to see the kids and take us all out to dinner. Sweet! I was looking forward to a simple pizza at home, but whatever. They're paying. I'm tired, as I often am when Hubs is gone. I can't sleep without him here. I think that I finally turned off the light last night around 1:15. And then got up at 6:00. I've averaged about 5 hours of sleep a night while he's been gone. And my nose is all stuffy. (by dose is all tuffy.) That's not exactly a recipe for a reunion: Hubs' parents, me tired, me not feel good. Should be a fun evening.

D's Wings, huh? Great. I hope the kids behave!

BTW, I will have use of the school laptop this summer. I hope to be able to update this blog on a regular basis. Well, not during the first trip, probably. Hubs won't let me, I'm sure. But during the long trip, when I'm on my own. I'll write it for him, and the kids. They can keep up with me while I'm gone. I'm a genius! After all, this blog IS called My Summer Vacation. It's almost 2 years old now. Who knew?

NKOTB!

2008-05-18T21:10:00.002-04:00

I about had a heart attack when my sister emailed to say that the New Kids on the Block were going to be performing in Atlanta. Seriously? So I said Hell, yeah, I'll go! Then I went to the "official" NKOTB website to check it out. And she was right! Argh!!!! And they have a new single out! I would link to iTunes, but I don't know how. I have already purchased it, of course. I closed my eyes, and it was almost like being 13 again. Sigh. I did love some NKOTB. Sis and I had the sheets, the tees, the everything. We even had our own singing group with our friend Angela (she was my friend really) named Shades of Color. (Don't remember why that name, but whatever.) Our plan was to make it big and tour with the boys. They, of course, would fall in love with us, and we'd each marry the Beantown boy of our dreams. Sis was going to marry Joey. Angela was into Danny. But my favorite was, hands down!, Donnie. He had that whole bad boy thing going on. And I loved it.

So, will I be in Atlanta on Oct. 29? Yep. And I plan on downloading the whole new album as soon as it's released. Crazy? Probably. But how many of us get to relive our childhood fantasies like that? Just because I'm married with 2 kids. Donnie is STILL on my list. I can't wait to tour with them!

Reality Check

2008-05-05T19:05:00.002-04:00

Wow! I just booked a flight into Baltimore for June 23. Why? Because I have to go to Baltimore for a week before my BIG 4 WEEKS IN ITALY! I found out over a month ago now, but it hasn't really seemed real. However, now that I have a plane ticket on my credit card, it is really real.

I still can't get my head around the fact that I'm spending almost 6 weeks of my summer vacation in Italia. It is crazy! I have been dreaming of this since I was in high school. Really. And now, in just over a month, the dream comes true. Who would have thought?

I'll be sure to chronicle every step of my journey so that my loving family can keep up with me. I wish, kind of, that I could take them with me. Well, Hubs anyway. We would have such a good time. Wishful thinking, though. At least he gets to go on one of the trips with me.

My Personality

2008-05-03T10:31:00.000-04:00

You Are An INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.

Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.

It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.

But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards.

You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings.

At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak

What's Your Personality Type?

Late.

2008-02-14T22:18:00.002-05:00

It is past my bedtime. I don't think I'll be sleeping any time soon. I've got a lot on my mind. I can't even really explain it. I don't know that I'm free to, since my mom reads this blog occasionally. I'm just tired and frustrated.

I hate teaching. Period. On some days, I don't even like the kids any more. They are so mean to each other. One girl, Madi, called some other girls in class "stupid" today. And they were her friends! A couple of other kids are so annoying, I could gladly take an axe to their heads, just to make them shut up. One is a 7th grader, so I have another year with him. The other is a 6th grader, and he says he's signed up for my class for next year. Which means 2 more years with him.

None of them think before they open their mouths. Ever. At least my 2 worst classes are in Washington this week. So I don't have to deal with them. They are all so whiny. At the slightest bit of work, they start to whine. I think they are smart. So why can't they understand that whining is not the way to go?

I'm tired of B-rex saying "NO!" everything. That is his favorite word these days. We've tried Bonnie's idea of just giving him choices for everything, thereby taking away 'no' as an answer, but even that doesn't always work. Tonight, he threw a fit because he didn't want to brush his teeth before bed. Then, when Hubs closed his door, B-rex decided that he DID indeed want to brush his teeth. Only, Daddy had already taken that choice off the table. So he just had to go straight to bed instead.

I feel like I just want to curl up in bed and sleep for a week. I have had it with people.

So Far, So Good

2008-01-04T22:38:00.000-05:00

We are now 4 days into the new year, and things are going okay. There have not been any MAJOR issues yet. Just one, small, teensy-weensy problem. My car.

I went to go start the car before leaving for work yesterday because it was freakishly cold, like near freezing. Which for SC is very cold. (I know this is not a good idea. Evidently there have been a few break-ins when people have left their cars outside warming up. Although can you really call it a break-in when you leave the door unlocked?) I put the key in the ignition and turned. It made some strange whirring/grinding sound (if you call, I'll do it for you) and the inside lights came on. But it did not start. I tried again. Same thing. So I ran back into the house to get Hubs opinion. We decided that I should take his car. And I did.

So I get to school, 10 minutes after I was supposed to be there for morning duty in the gym. I served my time in the gym babysitting the sixth graders. Went back to my classroom. The phone rings. It's Hubs. "My keys to your car are in my car." So, since I had MY keys on my keychain, he had no keys. And the first bell would ring in just 10 minutes. Not enough time for me to get home and back. So Hubs stayed home with the kiddies yesterday. Cheese did not go back to school. B-rex did not start his new daycare. Oops. But really, who keeps a set of car keys in a car?! Even if it is a different car?

Of course, when Hubs tested the car when I arrived home after school, it worked fine. Damn thing.

And then AGAIN this morning, it wouldn't start. So I took Hubs' car again. Only this time, I left him my keys. But he called at 8:00 to let me know that HE couldn't get it to start either. And I have no jumper cables in my car. We have some, apparently, but they are guess where? In HIS CAR! Sigh. So a friend came by and took Cheese to preschool, since she works there. Thank God for Sharon. And Hubs called his buddy Fred to come help. Only Fred's wife had run over his jumper cables and smushed one end. So he had to go buy a new set. And us a set. THEN he jumped the car and all was well. This was around 8:45-ish. Hubs finally got to work a little after nine. Then had to leave early to go over to the Seminary to talk to them about his readmission for the fall.

Anyway, that's our drama. We're looking into getting a new car for me. Since mine doesn't want to get up early anymore. Hubs bought it a new battery and got its oil changed, but I don't think that will work in the long run. It is older than most of my students. We're looking at the dreaded mini-van. I've wanted one ever since I found out I was pregnant with Cheese. We've held off for a while, but I think it is just a matter of time. Oh, and money. I don't know HOW we would pay for that. We've never had a car payment before. I'm trying not to think about that though, even though it is the most important part. I suppose we'd find it somewhere. Like the kids' college fund. Such as it is.

Like I said, so far not so bad. If the broken car is the worst of it, it is going to be a GREAT year!

B-rex did start his new daycare today. Ms. Amy said that he had a great day! He just jumped right in like he'd been there forever! I am so glad that he is so adaptable. He didn't even notice when I came in to pick him up. He was like "hi mommy" and kept on playing. After a moment, he did run over to me, but obviously he was having a good time. I'm glad. I wish we'd never taken him out of that daycare to begin with. His home daycare was nice, but he just really needs to be with more kids his own age. I think this is going to be so good for him!

Happy New Year!

2007-12-31T20:52:00.000-05:00

Oh wow. I have never been so glad to see a year end. Ever. In just 3 more hours and 6 minutes, the year 2007 will be over. It could not come fast enough.

I knew it was going to be a bad year only 4 days in. My best friend's husband was killed in a plane crash. That's the beginning. Since then, we've been through depression, ADHD, dropping out of school, being out of work for 4 months (again). That was just Hubs.

Cheese had 2 major surgeries (one unplanned and life-threatening), one trip to the ER, and a countless number of minor outpatient procedures.

B-rex had a slow year, he only started speech classes.

And me, I had to deal with all of that plus filling in for a missing Latin teacher at our school all fall.

In between all that, our family had some other upheavals. We left our church so that Hubs could pursue his dream. We moved, kind of, into a new house.

Hmm... I'm trying to think if there is anything else. I can't really remember if there was anything else. It has seemed like it was just one thing after another.

Through it all, and Hubs and I talked about this the other day, our faith has grown in ways that we can't really comprehend. I did 3 Bible studies this year, all written by Beth Moore. (If you haven't checked her out, you should!) Right now, I feel closer to God than ever. When you look at all we've been through, there were two choices we had.

One, blame God for everything. Be angry, because so much stuff was happening to us that we couldn't control. And after all, weren't we doing the Lord's work? How could He let this happen to us?

Two, turn to God. Love God. Give it all to Him and let Him figure it out. Know and trust that there is a plan and someday we'll know what this was all about. l

We chose number Two. I have no idea why we've had the year we had. At times, it has seemed like God was just sitting up there in his throne having a laugh at our expense. Really. But I know and trust that there was, and continues to be, some plan for us. We don't know what it is, but it's there.

I just hope His sense of humor changes for 2008. I don't know if I can handle another year like this one.

Happy New Year, y'all!

Check out my Slide Show!

2007-12-26T14:26:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T21:38:00.000-05:00

What an awesome day!

If you have not had a chance to hear some truly praise-full children's music, click here. My sister gave me the CD "The Kids Praise Album!" for Christmas. We used to sing along to all those songs when we were kids. I didn't even know they still made these. We used to listen to them all the time. And we had it on a cassette. Which was made from an album that skipped. So we're listening to it now and skipping all the parts that the original skipped. But all the words have come back. And it means so much to be able to pass all these memories and songs on to my own kids.

Thanks, Nikki!

We spent the day with family. Hubs' family came to Christmas Eve service with us, then spent the night at the parsonage with us. We got up a little after seven this morning and opened presents. Hubs and I cooked breakfast: bacon, eggs, and cinnamon rolls! The boys had such a great time! After that, we went to my mom's and had present time there. Cheese and B-rex were so cute! Cheese got his very own digital camera. Oh the excitement! B-rex got a kitchen set. Yes, a kitchen set. He loves to plays like he's cooking for the family! I'm glad he got that from his daddy. His love of cooking, that is.

All in all, it was a wonderful, awesome day. Thank you, Lord, for sending us your Son. And for giving us the gift of eternal life through Him. Thank you for our wonderful, loving family. And the gift of my precious boys. Happy birthday, Jesus!

An Elfin' Good Time

2007-12-18T23:20:00.000-05:00

Take a moment and Elf Yourself. I did. It is funny! Be sure to pick a happy picture though. I didn't do a very good job with B-rex. He looks like a mad elf.

To see us elfed, just click here.

Holiday Open House 2007

2007-12-16T23:00:00.000-05:00

I am posting a day early, because I know I can't do this at work tomorrow. And I have a few last minute gifts to go buy tomorrow night while Hubs is actually at home. And some more decorating to do. He gave me permission to go ALL OUT on Christmas decorations! I am so excited! I will be heading to my local Target to gather provisions. I am really excited! I may have to post again just so I can show the updated decor!

Anyway, I have had the pleasure this year of "decorating" two homes. The one we live in full-time and the one we live in on the weekends. Both need some work on the festive end, but they will do for now.

Our "Old" House, as Cheeseman calls it:

These Pooh Bears are ones I collected when I worked at the Disney Store in college. They are the first thing you see when you enter my home. Festive, no? Love my Santa too!
Our tree without and with children:
The mantle. You can't see the stocking hung with care, but they're there!
This is the lovely wreath that would hang on the front door if I could ever remember to buy a hanger-thing. A co-worker of mine made this. Isn't it beautiful?

Now, on to the "new" house:
Our tree, complete with candy canes that the children love.
Yes, the noel has moved houses. Doesn't it look lovely? My stepmom made this for us.

The couch in our new house. I like the $5 pillows from Dollar General.

The boys love to decorate a tree! They get that from me, of course.

That's it! The outsides are not done AT ALL! I'll be getting right on that.

Turkey gone, gone

2007-11-23T14:49:00.000-05:00

Another happy holiday over and done. I cannot believe it is almost Christmas.

We went to the in-laws yesterday for food and fun. I actually contributed this year. Made a right lovely bread casserole thing. It was yummy! So moist and flavorful. I liked it. A Weight Watchers recipe no less! I think we will see that one again before next Thanksgiving.

The food was yummy. The turkey was moist this year. Cheese actually ate all his food! B-rex ate most of his. Well, all his turkey and gravy. No green beans or rice. Whatever. He barely eats most days anyway. Hubs took the boys for a walk along the creek that runs behind his parents house. He confided in me on the way home: It used to look much bigger. I just laughed. I'm sure the boys thought it was a big adventure, traipsing along in the "woods" behind the house. And they were spending quality time with their daddy. That's the most important part. They'll always remember that.

Now the Christmas fun begins. I've already ordered some movies as gifts for the boys. Power Rangers. Fun for them, not so much for Mom and Dad. Ordered some DVDs for my bro too. That reminds me, he suggested that I check their registry to see what was left. I don't know what to get his new wife. She can be difficult to buy for sometimes. I hope my dad and GiGi send their lists soon. I hope we get that bonus check soon too, so I can pay for all this stuff!

Hope all had a happy Thanksgiving!

Somewhat Big Goings On

2007-11-07T21:11:00.000-05:00

Last weekend was FU's Homecoming. It also happened to be my 10th reunion year. How exciting! I was really feeling "old" due to this. I know that 32 is not really old, like that 70 is old, but it is still a number larger than I really feel at this point. Most of the time. Anyway, I was really looking forward to seeing some old friends, acquaintances. There was no one there. At the tailgate, we ran into some of Hubs' old fraternity brothers. That was nice, but I was only over there for a few minutes. Then we had to go back and meet up with his parents to get our football tickets. We totally missed the "official" class thingy that night, since we had agreed to eat dinner with his mom and dad, and we didn't have an extra $40 anyway.

Later Saturday night, we went into downtown Greenville, where the party was supposed to be happening. It was dead. Lame. A few of the "guys" were there, but there was nothing to do! The band was awful! Beach music! Which is fine if you are at the beach, but it was about 60 degrees outside, and we were in the foothills of the mountains. Not a good combo for beach music.

So, the evening was kind of a flop. We could have gone over to the Normington's, but honestly I was just tired. It was already after 10, which is a pretty hard and fast rule of bedtime around here. I was disappointed.

The boys had a good time at the ball game though. They stayed in our seats during most of the first half, so we actually got to watch the game. Then, at halftime, we went over to a little grassy hill at the side of the stands, and let the kids play. There are always a lot of little people playing touch football, or just hanging out over there. Furman, such a family destination.

Oh, and they won the football game. Furman, I mean. Beat Elon. Go Paladins!

In a fit of cuteness, both boys have now announced that they are going to play football at Furman when they get older. They are tickled to know that Gramma and Pop will be at all the games cheering and waving the flag. How cool! Guess we'd haveto go to more than one game a year!

This week at work has been pretty good for me. On Monday, I was awarded the Culture of Excellence award. I was nominated by the French teacher for all the work I've been doing to keep Latin alive at our school. Our principal even called me "an unsung hero" and said nice things about me for a couple of minutes while I blushed and wanted to sit down. In addition to a plaque, I also got a gift certificate to Olive Garden! Hubs and I are going out this Friday. Far be it from me to let a g.c. sit around. And Olive Garden is one of my favoritest places!

When I'm not so tired, I will update on the boys. Cheese has not had the best week at school.

My Halloween Pictures

2007-11-01T21:39:00.000-04:00

Last night, we went trick-or-treating with Princess and her friend Erin. Princess was a mermaid. Not Ariel, just a regular, run of the mill mermaid. Erin was a Barbie princess, or something like that. Cheese decided to be the grey/silver Power Ranger. B-rex at first was Donatello the Ninja Turtle. Then he changed his mind and decided he was going to be Buzz Lightyear. (In between, he wanted to be a power ranger too, but we don't have a costume in his size.)

We went around in my sister's neighborhood. Hubs missed the festivities again. For the 3rd year in a row. Oh, well. He can see the pictures. And so can you:

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Happy Halloween

2007-10-30T20:28:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is Halloween. The boys are looking forward to going to Princess' house and trick-or-treating. I had to explain how the whole day would go down. Because Cheese is all into details and asking "Is that after today?" about everything. "First we go to school. Then I pick you up, then we come home and get Bennett. Then we order the pizza. Then we go to pick up the pizza and take it to Princess' house. Then we eat the pizza. Then we change into your costumes. Then we go trick-or-treating with Princess. Then you can hand out candy at Princess' house for a little while. Then we are coming home and going to bed."

at least, that's the plan. I'm sure a thing or twenty will totally ruin that. Already we've hit a snag. The new Power Ranger costume that Cheese bought with his birthday money is messed up. We had a Fall Festival at our church on Sunday. The boys had nametags on with the type of "Christian character" their costume showed. And Cheese didn't take the sticker off when he took off his costume. And I didn't notice it when I threw it in the washer. So the sticker got washed. And, like a bad mommy, I dried it. Then I noticed the sticker residue. So I washed it again. And it is still there. I don't know what to do.

Cheese does have other costumes. Like the SpiderMan one from last year that still fits because he has not gained an OUNCE since then. Or the Ninja Turtle one that my mom got him. Or the Buzz Lightyear that we got from some friends. But I think his little heart is set on being the grey Power Ranger. Sigh. Maybe I should call my stepmom, knower of all things domestic.

Not much else going on. Hubs started a new job at BCBS this week. He's working customer service through a temp agency. Pay is good. Hours are steady. This week, he's also working every night at the bookstore. Oh, my. Can we say lack of sleep? And crabby? But at least he can come home for dinner in between!

Everyone says it's about time he picked up the slack. That this is just fair for what I've had to put in as far as work this past year. But I don't know. I liked working. I hated not seeing the kids for a couple of days at a time, but I liked what I was doing. Yes, it was stressful with the lack of money and such. But God will always provide, and did always provide.

I guess I'm trying to say that I'm sorry this is happening to him. The whole "burning the candle at both ends" thing. I've been there. I know it's not fun. I wish it didn't have to be this way. He'll miss the kids trick-or-treating again this year. I don't think he's been with us the past 2 or 3 years. Oh, well. Maybe next year.

Happy Halloween everyone!

And the beat goes on

2007-10-19T21:21:00.000-04:00

I have been trying to get B-rex to bed for the last 50 minutes. This is now a nightly thing. He just does NOT want to go to sleep. I don't know what the deal is! Guess I should have said no Power Rangers tonight. But I though he'd be so tired, he would go right to sleep! So wrong!

Cheese is doing okay. his little butt is so red and raw. He's even bleeding a little in a couple of spots. We're putting the medicine on it, but there is only so much that will do. He's back in pull-ups, since he doesn't always know when the poop is coming. And then he doesn't tell anyone that he went. By the time we notice, or he decides to come clean, it's been sitting there for a while. And it's dried up half the time. And we have to scrub his little booty to get it all off. With wipes. Or with a wet washcloth. And it is just taking a toll on him. He screamed so this morning, it broke my heart. Poor kid.

Hubs is at work again tonight. I can't really complain, since the only time I get to write is when he's not here. Yesterday, he forgot about a really important church meeting he had with the District Superintendent. I don't know what that will mean in the long run. I'm sure nothing good. I mean, she's like his BOSS. His Earthly boss anyway. I do NOT want to be around this weekend for the fallout from that one. I wonder what they do to punish pastors?

Week 9 at work is done. Only 27 more to go. Not that I'm counting or anything. I've not had a voice the past 2 days. That's been fun. It wouldn't have been so bad, but my "voice amplification system", AKA a microphone and speakers, doesn't work. Hasn't worked all year, except for the 30 seconds the installer guy was testing it. Then it promptly broke. Sure could have used it to spare my voice a couple of times with some of those little darlings. They can be such a pain in the gluteus! I'd really like to take a couple of them out of class and just let them have it, but I know their mommies and daddies would take offense at that. Of course, if they would bother to parent the children, it wouldn't be a problem anyway. Too much leeway, that's the problem.

All day workshop tomorrow. I'm going to learn the basics of speaking Latin. After all these years!

Giving away Beth Moore!

2007-10-19T21:02:00.000-04:00

Oh wow! I was over at BooMama, who linked me to another Pastor's Wife blog. Who just happens to be giving away a Bible Study from my very favorite-est study leader--- Beth Moore! So click here for more details. You have until Oct. 29.

Sick and Tired

2007-10-16T21:48:00.000-04:00

Oh, yeah. B-rex came home from the in-laws last week with a cold. We medicated his little butt right up, the FDA be damned. But he still wanted to share, and share he has with his mommy. It hit Sunday afternoon with sniffles. Then Monday, all day, chills and stuffiness. Today, it was coughing and a monster headache. Three Tylenol later, here I am. At least it wasn't as bad as that migraine last spring that knocked me out!

The last couple weeks have been pretty eventful. Cheese had his colostomy reversed and was in the hospital for almost a week. He and I took a week to play hookey last week and recuperate. It was such fun! He is really a cool little guy for a 5-year-old. We went out to lunch a couple of times, and went to the grocery store, and kid-shopping. What great times! I hope he always remembers how much fun Mom is, even when he hates me as a teenager.

B-rex and I spent the week before together. Hubs had gone with Cheese to the hospital. So I went to work every day, then B-rex and I would hang out in the evenings. It was also pretty awesome! We got to read books, watch movies, just have some one-on-one time. Second children don't get as much of that, so I'm so thankful that I got to spend some time with him. Sweet! Then last week, he went to stay with the in-laws, so as not to try and play rough with his big brother. He came home on Wednesday, had his THIRD birthday on Thursday, then started speech on Friday. What a week!

Hubs went to MUSC with Cheese, then came home for a night, then went to Duke for Pastor's school. He came home on Wednesday, but went right back to work on Thursday. No vacation and spending quality time for us. Oh, well. He went back to his counselor today, who has declared that his counselling sessions are done. He's all better! Or, at least he is able to function well with his meds. He doesn't have to go back unless he has a relapse. He's been doing pretty well lately, though. I hope this is behind us for now. I guess the real test will be when he goes back to school next fall. But we'll cross that bridge later.

Hmm... I guess that's about it. Other than being sick, I'm doing fine. Tired, as always. I'm trying to get caught up with grading all the papers from last week. I love being home with my boys, but I hate all the paperwork I have to leave for my cherubs so they'll stay mostly out of trouble. Grades are due on Friday, and I have a TON of stuff left to do. Oh, well. I finished all I wanted to tonight, so that's good. I can concentrate on other stuff tomorrow.

the Farley family

2007-10-11T00:42:00.000-04:00

Next to Beth Moore's LPM Blog, this blog is my favorite. Please pray for this sweet family.

Overwhlemed

2007-09-19T21:44:00.000-04:00

I feel like I've been running around in circles for the past few days. School has been terrible. Home life has seemed nonexistent. I have been completely foul.

I'm not sure what is going on. I'm frustrated by school. I'm "teaching" this online Latin course, and it is taking up oodles of my time. Yes, I'm being compensated a bit ($100 per student), but I am not going to see that money till the end of the semester. And it occurred to me on the way home tonight that I'm really doing all this work, which is the work of a full-time teacher, for free right now. And even when I do get paid for it, it's a measly $100 per student. For an entire semester's worth of work. And yes, the online course is already made, but it is not up to par. I have to move stuff around, add my own notes and powerpoints, grade the online assignments, give extra assignments, come up with projects, and grade all of it. For a measly $100 per kid! I think I will be talking to our contact at the D.O. tomorrow. This is ridiculous!

And things at home are not great. We are still broke. I thought it would be better once Hubs got a job. But we still can't make ends meet. I'm going to have him begging for money again tomorrow, because we don't get paid till next week. And I still haven't paid the car insurance, or my student loans. And his student loans are overdue by a couple of months. And most of our bills are being paid late, which is messing up our credit even further. And I don't know what else to do! I can't see where the problem is!

And Cheese is getting ready to have surgery again. The colostomy reversal is set for Oct. 1. Which means Hubs won't be working at all that week. And I'll have to take off the next week when he's at Duke for continuing ed stuff. Cheese will not be ready yet to go back to school I think. We still have to talk to the school to see if Cheese will be able to stay in his preschool program, since one of the requirements is that he be fully potty trained. And once they reconnect everything "down there", he will not have full bowel control for a while. Possibly up to a year, or maybe not ever really.

Can you say stress?

And tomorrow morning, B-rex has an appointment for evaluation by the school district's speech therapy people. At least that's free.

I just feel like I'm in a free fall. I have no idea where the bottom is, but I don't want to know, because it's going to hurt when I hit. I don't know how much longer Hubs and I can make it like this, with all the money stuff. I know I'm supposed to give it all over to God, and He will provide. And I'm trying, really I am. But it's so hard. And it doesn't really help me sleep at night. My doc said she'd give me a prescription for that (sleeping), but I can't afford to fill it anyway. What are we going to do?

The good news is, I've lost 33 pounds through Weight Watchers now. Still some more to go, but this feels nice. On the down side, most of my clothes are not fitting anymore. I can't afford to buy new ones, so I'm trying to belt them up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it looks stupid. Oh, well.

What Animal Are You?

2007-09-05T22:11:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Nikki for this. Are you freaking kidding me?

You Were a Porcupine

You have created your own path in life, and you encourage others to do the same.
Even as life progresses, you always maintain a sense of wonder and innocence.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Who thinks up this crap?

Well, I do agree with the following, it's my favorite kind:

You Are a Chocolate Cake

Fun, comforting, and friendly.
You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality.
People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.

What Kind of Cake Are You?

New appreciations

2007-09-05T21:43:00.000-04:00

Hubs has finally come upon a new appreciation of my total exhaustion during the winter months. When I was working at the bookstore while holding down a full-time job and raising two children and taking care of the house and clothing. He started working at my old bookstore. I had to quit when school started back. He has closed 2 nights in a row now, and has not gotten home before midnight.

He said that he napped all morning today, after a particularly busy evening. I didn't want to say anything, for fear of starting a fight, but REALLY! When I was working there, I had to get up at 5 in the morning so that I could get to teaching school on time. In the dead of winter. And I still picked the kids up from school. I would come home long enough to grab a sandwich or something, then head to work. I didn't get a nap. Ever.

I'm glad he finally understands that it was hard on me. Well, he's beginning to understand. I don't think he will ever truly appreciate the difficulty. Just goes to show, women are much stronger than men in the ways that count.

In other news, B-rex is pooping in the potty occasionally. All the moms out there know what a big deal that is! Yay!!!

And Cheese is like a different kid at school this year. He's been an absolute angel. No bad reports at all! His partner in crime/best friend from last year is now in kindergarten. Spreading havoc wherever he goes. At least he is not corrupting my sweet angel baby anymore.

Just a Moment

2007-09-03T19:18:00.000-04:00

I don't have much time, as the children are in the tub. I know, a good mom would never leave her children alone in a tub of water. But really, they'll be okay for a few minutes.

I have had a crazy time this past month. It seems like it's been just one thing after another. There have been many times when I've sat at the computer checking email, and I think 'I really need to update my blog.' But I can't bring myself to do it. There has been so much in my head, I don't know where to start sometimes. So I'm going to start over from today.

9 days till Cheese turns 5. I can't believe I am the mother of a 5 year old. It boggles the mind. And B-rex will be 3 in just over a month. Where does the time go?

OMG

2007-09-01T16:13:00.000-04:00

Oh MY God! App State beat Michigan! I am in shock. Check out the story here, on ESPN. They will be completely insufferable on Oct. 27 when they come to G'ville.

Go FU!!

FU one time!
FU two times!
FU three times!
FU all the time!!!!

College football has officially begun! I love football!!!!!!!!!

At the Beach?

2007-07-29T17:37:00.000-04:00

We are here. Here we are. Litchfield By the Sea. Sounds like a novel or something, doesn't it? We arrived about an hour ago. The children are already at the pool. Yes, the pool. Not the beach. That's okay. Evidently they are saving that for tomorrow. All day. Sounds fun! We can't actually see the beach from our house. We do have some sort of water out the back. The view is pretty. And our bedroom, I think, faces the ocean direction, so we'll get the sunrise. That's one of my favorite views.

So, why am I not at the pool? Because I need some down time. I am tired of being the one who looks after the kids near the water. Besides, Nikki (who wishes from hereforth to be called Nicole) and Mike are with Hubs. They'll be fine. I just dont know if I can handle all this togetherness! There are relatives as far as the eye can see. I believe my initial count was correct. There are 28 of us here. Oh. My. God!

And I would like to mention, for the record, that I am angry at my dad. He and Gigi had talked about coming to church with us this morning, to hear Hubs preach. My dad is a pastor, so this is pretty much his only chance. You know, since he works most Sunday mornings. But then, when I saw them Friday night, Gigi tells me that they're not coming. Because it would cut into their beach time. What the f*ck!? They only got here an hour before we did! And they are not even at the beach! Gigi is at the grocery store. I'm not sure what Dad is doing. Probably at the pool with the kids.

Really. I am very hurt. And Hubs is hurt too. This church is a big deal. And his sermon today was AWESOME! The first few weeks it was so-so, but he's really getting better! The little old lady who sits behind us even said that he did a great job today.

Just thought I'd let that out.

Anyway, Chris and Kristen's wedding went well. It was very pretty, and I almost succeeded at not crying. But when my little brother started saying his vows, "honor and cherish" and all that, I couldn't help it. Kristen looked so pretty! Her dress was satin-y with this gorgeous beading all around the hem. And the train. Lovely! The boys had a good time at the reception. B-rex is a crazy dancer. He actually (getting teary) came over to me and held his little hand out and led me onto the dance floor! He wanted to dance with his mommy! So sweet! Cheese wasn't as into the whole dancing thing. He mostly sat with his Nanas and ate. He did try to dance once or twice. Hubs and I danced to "our" song: Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis. So sweet!

Can't wait to see how this vacation turns out!

And Yet Another Vacation

2007-07-26T16:08:00.001-04:00

Well, maybe it's not a vacation. However, it is away from the house for 5 and 1/2 days. I don't have to work outside the home. I will have helpers with the children. We will be at the beach. Yes, the beach. Myrtle Beach.

In less than two days, my baby brother is getting married. Of course, he's not exactly a baby anymore. He's now 25, and about 8 inches taller than me. We are leaving tomorrow morning for G'ville for the excitement. Afterward, we are going to Litchfield Beach with: my dad and Gigi, my sister, her husband, their daughter; Aunt Dianne and Uncle Loren, Jen and Mike (cousins); Aunt Lori and Uncle Brian, Kat, Craig, and Mark (cousins) and Sam (Kat's boyfriend); Aunt Gayle and Uncle/Cousin Dave, Cassie, Kyle, and Courtney (cousins); Great-Uncle Darrell and Great-Aunt June; Grandma and Grandpa Canfield (Gigi's parents).

Holy Shit.

There are not words to describe this. I believe there are 28 of us. I don't know how many houses we have rented. I know that I am sharing with Sis and her family. And I am thrilled to be spending some good, quality time with my extended family. (And I didn't have to plan it! hee hee!) But my goodness! Crazy! That's a lot of family!

Today was fun. Sis and I went with Madison and got our nails done. Madison is too little to have a real pedicure, since her feet won't reach when sitting in the chair. But she did have her little nails painted a lovely pale pink color that should match the ribbon of her flower girl dress nicely. Nikki and I got the whole works. Nikki even had to get fake nails! They looked really nice, and we had some girl-time.

Other than today, I feel like I have been working non-stop for two weeks. I worked a lot last week due to the release of the new Harry Potter. God bless J.K. Rowling. She is a literary genius! If you have not yet read Deathly Hallows, by all means, go get it! Even Hubs finished it in two days, and he is not the fastest reader. (he is getting better though. He's read 3 or 4 books this summer. Wow!)

I have also read a new-ish book by Joshilyn Jackson called Between, Alabama. I would definitely recommend this book. I would also now like to read her first book, gods in Alabama. Hmm. I'll have to check the library. My book spending money is all gone! It's been a good summer for reading for me. And I do love to read!

So, be envious, but do not covet, concerning my vacation. Remember that I will be surrounded by my extended family. And that I'll be at the beach.

Monk & Neagle

2007-07-19T21:57:00.000-04:00

BooMama turned me on to this wonderful new duo, Monk & Neagle. I have only heard one and a half of their songs, but they are GOOD! And I love some praise music, as I may have mentioned previously. I know good stuff when I hear it. Their voices work so incredibly well together. I have not heard harmony like this in an all-male group. Well, a duo anyway. The lyrics are also fab. I am really enjoying them. You can hear some of their songs here.

What are their real names? When does their album actually come out? The song Twenty-First Time is currently convicting me a bit.

Beautiful, boys. Beautiful!

Swimming again

2007-07-19T14:40:00.000-04:00

Nikki- We had so much fun again today swimming with you and Madison. The boys LOVE the water! Last summer, we went to visit my dad. B-Rex got in the water, but he didn't really have a choice. We put him in one of those baby floats and set him sail. Cheese didn't want to get into the water at all. In fact, he just stood on the side of the pool and threw the water ball to us the whole time. This summer, they are both lovin' the water.

Cheese got right in today. I think going swimming with Shalee last week really helped. And seeing Madison able to swim too. He's really kicking out there. He still doesn't want to jump in and get his face wet, but it'll come. I just hate that we have to take breaks because his bag comes unglued. Oh, well. He sat on his towel today until it dried out a little bit. Then we taped him up and let him back in.

B-rex is a maniac. If I would let him, he'd jump off the diving board. No, really. He would. He is fearless! He asked a couple of times today, but I persuaded him not to. I did throw him around a bit, and he did okay going under the water. He didn't like it, but he did okay. Maybe we'll just keep trying that.

This week has been tiring. It's hard being at work all day. My legs are sooooooo tired! And my feet! Ouch! But it'll be worth the paycheck at the end, right? Hubs is out looking for a job right now. He's thinking about waiting tables again. At Arizona Steakhouse. We haven't even eaten there! Come to think of it, we haven't gone out for my birthday dinner. Or my birthday movie. Hey! He owes me a date! Maybe we can get the Nanas to watch the kids one night next week. Hmm, but Chris' wedding is next weekend. Nanas probably don't need anymore stress than they already have.

Yes, in one week, my baby brother is getting married. Wow! I need to go pick up my bridesmaid's dress. Maybe after work tomorrow.

Oh, and I weigh 152.1 lbs. As of this morning. We'll see if it stays that way till tomorrow, the official weigh-in day.

If At First You Don't...

2007-07-13T21:36:00.000-04:00

Can you tell my Hubs is out of town? I haven't posted this much since, well, never. Guess I am trying to make up for lost time. And Gigi telling me that I write well isn't hurting either. If she is reading this to get updates on the kiddies, guess I should oblige and actually write about the little buggers.

Today was like a long comedy of errors. Shannon said last night that they would be done at her mom's house "early." That, to me, meant before the 9:00 hour. I just assume that everyone's kids get up at the butt crack of dawn like mine do. So I got up early-ish (7:00), and did a little TaeBo. I hurted. Cheeseman got up while I was doing that. He wanted to know if it was time to go to Shalee's yet.

It got to be 9:00, and I still hadn't heard from Shannon, so I decided to shower. Yes, I'd been all stinky and sweaty until then. But the kids don't mind, and Hubs isn't here to have an opinion. I showered, got dressed. Still nothing. Finally, 10:20 rolls around and she calls. I head over with the boys, and drop them off. I'm going to get my nails done.

I can't help it. I'm addicted now. I love the way they look. I love the deep pink color of my toes. It's bootiful! So I sit. And sit. And sit. And it's now almost noon! Finally, the guy that does the best foot/leg massages during pedicures is free! He does the pedi, then the mani. I go with some color on the mani this time. Branching out, ya know! I glance at the clock, and it is 1:20. Which would not be a problem, except that the kids are swimming (without their momma!) and Bman has his speech therapy at 1:45. Crap.

I walk out the door of the salon at 1:32. I am at the pool at 1:45. Double crap. Bman does NOT want to get out of the pool. I finally promise him that we'll be back when Miss Jill is done. Then we hurry home. We pull into the driveway at 1:55. She is not there. I rush into the house, leaving Bman in the car (with the windows DOWN!), and call her cell. She agrees to come back for a shortened session.

At 3:00, we are walking back out the door to go back to the pool. We get there, and Bman wants to jump straight in. We get his Spiderman floaties on, and we're ready to rock. Cheeseman is hanging out IN THE BIG POOL! Dog paddling like a maniac! Yaay! About 20 minutes later, his bag has lost all its adhesive powers, and Cheeseman has to get out of the pool lest he contaminate it with his poop. The joys of a colostomy bag. :-( He's okay though. He knows it's nothing personal.

We left around 3:50, right as they were blowing the whistle for adult swim. Do all pools with lifeguards do that? Just curious. My pool experiences are limited recently. We used to go almost every day when I was in junior high. Mom was a student at Ole Miss, so we'd go to the "family pool" on campus all the time. It was AWESOME! I had the hugest crushes on the lifeguards there. They were HOT! I used to have pictures of some of them. Wonder what ever happened to those?

Anyway, I gave the kids a snack when we got home. Cheeseman was all excited because they were having movie night at NEUMC (our old church). He and Bman love movie night. They get to wear their pj's and lay in sleeping bags on the floor of the sanctuary. Alas, 'twas not to be. Cheeseman passed out on the couch. One minute, he was awake. The next, he was sawing logs. I tried to wake him at quarter to six, but he wasn't moving. I did move him into his bed, just in case. Bman and I played and read books for another hour, till it was bath time.

Cheeseman woke up just after 7:00. Bman got out of the tub, Cheeseman got in. I had bought these little soap tablets that turn the water colors. Bman got yellow, cuz he likes to pee in the tub. Cheeseman chose red. Because his favorite Power Ranger is the red ranger. Sigh. Anyway. Cheese was all upset because he missed movie night at church. So we had our own movie night at home. We (well, the boys) watched their new TMNT video for almost an hour. Then I had to call it a night. There were talking samurai rabbits and pandas. It was too much for me. Though I have no problem with talking ninja turtles. A strange fact that Cheese pointed out to me. The wisdom of a 4-year-old.

So now, I'm hanging out. I'm trying to decide whether I want to wake the boys up early tomorrow. I have an all associate meeting at BAM at 7:00 AM. My manager would like me to be there, even said I could bring the boys to enjoy the free donuts. But I don't know how sociable they'll be that early. I'm not usually too sociable that early. And I'd have to wake them up. And they can be cranky. But we're talking about the big Harry Potter shindig. Which I'm not actually working at. Tough decision. I'll make it when the alarm goes off at 6:21.

Gigi, if you're reading this, hope you have enjoyed the week of play-by-play action around our house. It will likely not continue. Hubs comes home next week, and he doesn't like it when I hole myself up in the room and write. Nevermind that it makes me feel better, but whatever. Also, I'll be working at BAM every day except Thursday. So I won't even know what the boys are doing. I know that Monday, Cheese has another booty procedure. Then Bman has speech therapy on Tuesday. Thursday, we're going swimming with Nikki and Madison. But other than that, who knows?

By the way, if you have a chance, check out the devotional for July 12 of Streams in the Desert by Cowman. It is a fabulous message!

So Excited!

2007-07-12T17:13:00.000-04:00

I get to go see my friend Shannon! She is one of my buddies from our old church. We sang together, were in Sunday school together, our kids played together all the time. I haven't seen her since we left for PUMC. I know it's only been a month, but I have missed her a lot! She, with Bonnie, is my closest friend. The three of us started scrapbooking together, and now without them I don't do it at all! They are my buddies!!!!

We get to go swimming with her and FIVE of her SIX kids tomorrow too. Oh, Bliss!!! It'll be good to have girlfriend time again.

Edited at 10:06 PM:
Just got home from Shannon's. It was an awesome time! I feel like I hadn't had anyone to talk to lately. You know, really, girlfriend talk. Gigi, Mom, Nikki - they are all super people, and I love them dearly. But they're FAMILY. And you can't talk to FAMILY the way you talk to your best girlfriends! That's just the way it is.

Cheeseman and Shalee were so cute! That's Shannon's youngest. They are the same age, and the best buds. After dinner, most of the kids went out to play on the trampoline or swings, but Cheeseman wanted to play more video games (they had TMNT). So he asked Shalee to come play with him, and she RAN up the stairs! She even gave him a hug good-bye.

Bman had fun too. Their other girl, Cecelia, loves to boss him around. And he likes it. They drive around in her pink Jeep all over the yard. He just squeals and laughs! He tried to jump rope with Derek and Jonathan too. It was pretty funny, since Bman can only jump about an inch off the ground. He kept getting hit in the legs with the rope. But it didn't stop him from trying again and again. Then he wanted to turn the rope. Needless to say, his little 2 and 1/2 year old self could not turn the rope up high enough for those big kids! But he tried.

We all had a wonderful time. It was worth keeping the kids up till ten, just for all the fun they had. And we are going to the pool with them tomorrow as well! Love it!!!

The New Seven Wonders of the World

2007-07-12T09:03:00.001-04:00

Evidently, the old Seven Wonders were not of any use anymore. You know, since only one of them actually still exists. I'd been to that one! The Great Pyramid at Giza. So, some scientists (?) got together as they like to do. Well, I don't know about that. I found, through another blog, that there was actually an opportunity to vote for these NEW Wonders! Of course, I only found out today. And the vote ended last week. They have already announced the new Wonders!

Check out the New Seven Wonders website to see all the pictures and stuff. How neat!

The best part, to me, is that I've already seen two of the seven! The Roman Colosseum and Petra, Jordan. Neat-o! Now, who is going to finance my trip to the other five???? I'm taking donations!

I get a title today!

2007-07-11T21:30:00.000-04:00

And nothing fancy to title it. Just another regular day in the neighborhood. Except that my gel nail came off my pointer finger on my left hand. Damn! Now I really need to find someone to watch the boys tomorrow so that I can go get my nails done. Otherwise, they will all have to come off again. Such a pain.

Today was just a long day at work. Nothing exciting. I saw one of my students. It rained really, really hard. I got a bday present from one of my managers, Mandy. She is super nice! It is a 2008 box calender, with full color photos of Italy! My favorite place! Where I am going again next summer! I am excited! Anyway, there was also a card, signed by a bunch of the people I work with. It played music - YMCA! Hmmm... need to get that one for my iPod.

By the way, thanks Bro! I have already spent all but 25 cents of the $25 iTunes gift card you sent. I love music, what can I say!? It was lots of 80s tunes. Wish I could find Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me." I would LOVE to have that one for my iPod.

Had dinner at Mom and Jane's again. What am I going to do tomorrow? Guess the boys and I will have to scrounge together a meal. They only eat chicken fingers and hot dogs, though. Yuck. Maybe some mac'n'cheese. If I can get Bman to sit still long enough to eat! I'd like to try some new WW recipes, but I don't know that the kids will eat them. Maybe just enough for me.

Going to do Beth Moore Bible study now. Jesus, the One and Only. Ain't it the truth?

2007-07-10T20:52:00.000-04:00

Still no way to write a title. This is annoying me, even though the title of a post was often the hardest part for me. It's like naming a story. You have to capture the essence in just a few words. How do authors do that? I am continually amazed at that at work. They must be very creative people.

Today was a long day. I worked at BAM all day. My feet hurt. I really wish Hubs were home so that he could rub them. My feet!!!

Where were the boys? Bman went to daycare. We haven't used it in a few weeks. We're only paying half each week, to hold his spot. But we were desperate and Jane can only handle one of the boys at a time. Evidently, they can be overwhelming. So Cheeseman went to Nanas house. First, though, they went to a free movie with Aunt Nikki and Madison. They saw Everybody's Hero. He said it was good. I asked what it was about. "Baseball" that's all he remembers. Oh, to have the ability to be so concise.

A cute thing Cheeseman keeps doing: "Are you my conscience?" I don't know where he got that from. I know Pinnochio asks Jiminy Cricket that in Pinnochio, but I don't think the boys have seen that movie. If they did, it wasn't at our house. For all the Disney movies we have, we don't have that one. (hint, hint. I'd like it!) Anyway, Hubs and I have tried to explain that God is his conscience, but he does not seem to care. I think he just likes asking.

Another thing he does, which can get annoying at times, is ask "what's after bedtime?" Then, "what's after waking up time?" and further "what's after breakfast?" and on and on and on. Until you're at the next day and making up what's next. My word! That boy loves to hear himself speak!

Bman is also loquacious (look at my big word). The problem is, you can only understand about half of what he says. Power Ranger becomes "pow jane ger." It's an issue. So this Friday, we are starting speech therapy. ONE HOUR EVERY WEEK. Um, I don't know what kind of crazy that woman is, but Bman is NOT going to sit and work with her for an hour. Never gonna happen. That boy can't even sit still for a 20 minute cartoon! It's worth a shot though. The therapist, Jill, said that his main problem is enunciation. Sigh. I thought my kids were going to be perfect.

In other, unrelated, slightly strange, news, I got a random email today. From an old boyfriend. That I was engaged to. On my work email, of all places. Just a note to wish me a happy birthday. It was odd. I wrote back thanks, and the family is all fine. It was just so out of the blue. I haven't seen him, even in passing, in over two years. I run into his mom occasionally, because she works in the same school district as I do. Last I heard, he was married with a couple of kids. Dunno. It was nice of him to write though. I can't believe he remembered my birthday. I have NO IDEA when his is. Early in the year maybe?

I've been reading this devotional, Streams in the Desert. It is great! Today's entry really spoke to me:
No prayer is ever lost, or any prayer ever breathed in vain. There is no such thing as prayer unanswered or unnoticed by God, and some things we see as refusals or denials are simply delays. Christ sometimes delays His help so He may test our faith and energize our prayers. Our boat may be tossed by the waves while He continues to sleep, but He will awake before it sinks. He sleeps but He never oversleeps, for He is never too late.

Chew on that. I know, personally, there have been many times I've wondered if God was listening. Mostly when Cheeseman was so sick and in the hospital. Why couldn't he get well? Or when Hubs was struggling so hard with school. Why couldn't he do better? I know in my head that God is hearing me, and that He will do what is best according to His will. I just need to keep on praying, because God is hearing me and doing His thing.

"And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened...If you, then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" Luke 11: 9-11, 13

2007-07-09T15:06:00.000-04:00

Happy birthday to me!

Why won't Blogger let me enter a title for my entry? It wouldn't yesterday either. What gives?

Hubs remembered to call this morning! I was going to seriously divorce him if he couldn't find someone's cell to borrow. He hardly gets service anywhere. I think something is wrong with his phone. Mine gets service everywhere! Anyway, he's having a good time at Salkehatchie. He's not on one main site this year. Just kind of driving around wherever they need him.

I got my bday present from Dad and Gigi today. The card is SO cute!! It's one of those cards that plays music. It plays "Bear Necessities" from the Jungle Book movie. I LOVE that movie! Only my dad could have picked that out for me. They also got me the City On a Hill CD set. I am importing it onto iTunes right now. Love me some praise music!

Cheeseman, Bman, and I have had an eventful morning/day. We went to the post office, but I couldn't remember the correct zip code for my in-laws, so that was a waste. Then we went out to lunch at Applebee's. Bman didn't eat anything. (Skipped breakfast too - wonder what's up with him?) The boys got balloons, which they played with very well. Cheeseman mostly sat still and ate. Bman was all over, as usual. But he mostly stayed near the table, so that was good. Our waiter was REALLY super nice. And helpful. He tied slipknots at the end of the balloon ribbons, so we were able to attach the balloons to the toys.

Afterwards, we went to the grocery store. I spent WAY too much money. It was a lot of junk food, I must admit. But it was good-for-you junk. Like Baked Lays. And Weight Watchers snacks. And there was lots of fruits and veggies as well. Bman is CRAZY for fruit.

As an aside, why won't my left breast stay in my bra cup? The right one is fine. But the left one bulges out. It is quite unseemly.

Anyways, we head to my mom's for a cookout tonight. My sister, her husband, and daughter will be there as well. Mom and Jane just got a pool for the yard, so I imagine there will be some swimming going on. Good. The boys like the pool. I hope the clouds hold off. Or not. It is insanely humid outside right now.

I just found out that my stepmom, affectionately known as Gigi, reads my blog. I will be on my best behavior from now on. I don't want my family knowing ALL of my business.

9:58--It is now after dinner. The day is mostly over. The kids are asleep. They almost fell asleep on the drive home. It was a little late. Bad mommy. But they did get a bath, and I didn't have to give it! I did have to change Cheeseman's bag, though. Yuck. But he was really good and laid still.

The boys had such a fun time tonight. When we got there, it hadn't started raining yet, so they got to swim in Nanas' new pool. They are really getting into that swimming thing. Nikki got them Spiderman floaties, so now they are much more confident. And Nanas got them water guns too! They were just beside themselves.

Then cousin Madison arrived. The party really started up! And then it rained. The cookout got moved into the garage. The kids all went inside and played Hullaballoo. It was a cute game. We will have to get that once Bman figures out his colors and shapes. Then it was time to eat. I was really good tonight. I only had one burger, no cheese, corn on the cob and a pickle. Then later, had a bowl of fresh watermelon. MMMMMMMM...... I love watermelon! Jane even put candles in it so we could pretend it was a birthday cake. You know, since I'm on a diet and all.

We had a fun time watching the kids dance to one of my gifts, the soundtrack to Happy Feet. We saw it at the free movies last week, and loved the songs. The kids were so cute! Especially Bman and Madison. They are crazy dancers! I also like my new flashdrive I got from my sis. Thanks, Nikki! (Even though you didn't say happy b-day to me until about an hour after you got there!)

It was a nice day. Thanks to everyone for all the nice gifts! Even my "baby" brother, who is getting married in less than 3 weeks, remembered to call. Without being prompted by my mom! Guess he really IS growing up.

2007-07-08T22:15:00.000-04:00

Something weird is going on. The kids are asleep. I'm at the computer. Oh, yeah, Hubs is not home. This week, Hubs has gone away. He is participating in Salkehatchie Summer Service. If you have not heard of this, it is a wonderful mission opportunity.

Basically, a group of adults and youth (mostly youth) go out into a community and fix up houses. The catch is, these are very NEEDY houses. Many of them have holes in the walls/floors/roofs. They have no air or heat. They have water that doesn't work. These homes are also usually full of people. One at their camp this year has about 11 people living in it. I have seen the "before" photos, and they are often horrific. It is sad and scary to think that people actually live in conditions like these for extended time.

This year, the Calhoun County Camp is servicing about 5 houses, I think. They do all this using donated items such as used mattresses, sinks, stoves, refrigerators, etc. They paint walls, install fans, lay carpet, and change lives. It happens from Sunday (today) until Friday. It's like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, only without all the money and camera crews. The volunteers stay in the local middle school. Their food is provided by local churches. They pay $200 a person for the privilege of participating.

This is Hubs' 5th year, I believe. Every year, this camp falls on my birthday week. (It's tomorrow, by the way.) Do mind that he misses my big day? Not much. The fact that he is out there, making the world a little bit better for a needy family makes it okay.

I miss him already. It is lonely in this house without him, even with the kids. They cannot make up for the large cold spot in the bed.

By the way, I ate way to much tonight at Mom's. Why is it that whenever I go over there, I feel the need to eat everything in sight? Ugh!

A Whole Year

2007-07-01T22:24:00.001-04:00

I just realized that I have been doing this for a whole year. I have kept up a hobby for more than a few months. And Hubs said I have a short attention span. This from the poster child for ADHD. Geez! I am so excited! A whole year! Amazing!

Happy 18th Anniversary to Dad and Glenna!

Anyway, this was not a good day for me. The beginning showed some promise. Cheeseman got up early but Hubs took him and Bman out to the living room to play. I got to sleep in about another hour. Yay! Had some fruit for breakfast. Then Hubs left for church, and I finished getting the boys ready.

We walked over a little before Sunday school time. The boys played in the nursery until Cheeseman's teacher got there. Still, no problems. Bman stayed in the nursery, playing with all the little cars and such. He was having a great time with the tractor.

Then we went upstairs to the sanctuary for the worship service. And it all fell apart. Suddenly, Cheeseman and Bman were devil children. They would not sit still. They colored on my nice, white pants. (I know, what was I thinking?) Bman started running up and down the middle aisle! During the opening prayer! I was mortified! As soon as Hubs finished with the children's moments, I took them both out. Back to the nursery.

That lasted about 15 minutes. Then they started fighting over the plastic slide. It was awful. They were yelling, and it was hurting my ears. So I walked them back home. Of course, then they just kept on. And they found their little plastic guns, so they started shooting each other too.

I was livid! We only have communion once a month at PUMC, and this was the week. So I missed it. I missed Hubs' sermon again. I missed singing. I missed the whole dang service! And I actually look forward to it every week! I have just begun being a Pastor's wife, so I have not yet learned to hate it. Not that I would, but I really like going to church. I hope this is not going to be a weekly thing. And the problem is, my two are the youngest in the whole church. There is no one in the nursery to staff it during worship. No one else needs it. Just me. And I have no help, because Hubs is up front leading the service! Argh!!! I thought the crayons and coloring books would help! What do I do??????

Anyway, the boys beat each other up most of the afternoon, until Bman passed out from exhaustion during the reading of Jonah. Hubs was also taking a nap. Then finally Cheeseman fell asleep, but not until AFTER his colostomy bag leaked and I had to change it. Again.

What a day!

Oh, and did I mention that we ate at Mom and Jane's tonight? I had 2 helpings of spaghetti. 2 pieces of cheesy bread. AND ice cream with chocolate syrup. It would not have been so bad if we hadn't eaten at McDonald's last night. I am out of flex points for the week already! And last week I put on 4 pounds while at Disney. I am feeling really dejected right now.

Funtime days

2007-06-27T23:15:00.000-04:00

We are done with vacation now. All we have to do is clean up the dishes and take out the garbage. I can't believe it is over already! It has been a fun week. Can't you see how much fun we were having?

Aren't we adorable? We've been having a fun time at Disney this week. I will be posting more pics later, when it's not the middle of the night.

We went to Magic Kingdom on Monday, MGM on Tuesday, and Animal Kingdom today. The boys had such an AWESOME time! Cheeseman had a hard time deciding which thing was his favorite. Except at MGM. The Power Rangers were his absolute favorite! Just getting to watch his face when doing all the fun stuff made it totally worth it to us.

Even Bman had a good time. People told us that 2.5 was too young for Disney, but I think he enjoyed it. He didn't understand what was going on half the time, like never putting on the 3-D glasses for the shows, but he smiled and waved. I think he really liked the parades. He waved at ALL the characters. He wasn't a big fan of Pooh, which is odd since he sleeps with one sometimes. But everyone else, he was fine. And the Incredibles kind of freaked him out, but they had giant heads. Who can blame him?

My favorite part, other than watching their little faces, was the hug and kiss I got from Pooh on the first day. That was nice. I didn't get my picture made with him, but he knew. It didn't seem to be too bad to stand in lines. It didn't seem too hot. It was humid, but never actually rained. That is pretty strange for FL in the afternoon. It was practically perfect.

I'll report more later, when I'm not tired. And sunburned. Ouch. I wore sunscreen, really. But it was hot and sunny. Luckily, I lathered the boys up. They are still pretty pasty-white! I'm sure Mom will give me a hard time about that. Oh well.

iPod Meme

2007-06-22T10:24:00.000-04:00

THE iPOD MEMEINSTRUCTIONS:

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense.
NO CHEATING!

How do you feel today? Any Man of Mine - Shania Twain
What's your outlook on life? Come Together - The Beatles
What does your family think of you? Supergirl - Donovan
What do your friends think of you? Word of God Speak - Kutlass
What do your exes think of you? All You Need Is Love - The Beatles
How's your love life? Stop It Girl - New Kids on the Block
How will your love life be in the future? Heaven Is a Place On Earth - Belinda Carlysle
Will you get married? Another One Bites the Dust - Queen
Are you good at school? Funky Town - Pseudo Echo
Will you be successful? Sick Cycle Carousel - Lifehouse
What song should they play on your birthday? Wild Thing - Tone Loc
What song should they play at your graduation? Mickey - ???
The Soundtrack of your life? Tequila - The Champs
You and your best friends are? Take It Easy - the Eagles
Happy times: New World- David Wilcox
Sad times: Is Forever Enough - Hawk Nelson
Every day: Walk Like an Egyptian - the Bangles
For tomorrow: Sweeter - Hillsong
For you: God of Wonders - Third Day
What does next year have in store for you? We Are the Champions - Queen
What do you say when life gets too hard? One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer - George Thorogood
What song will you dance to at your wedding? Ice, Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
What do you want as your career? La Bamba - Ritchie Valens
Your favorite saying: the 59th Street Bridge Song (Feeling Groovy) - Simon and Garfunkel
How will you die? Centerfield - John Fogerty

Thanks to the View From the Manse for this great idea! I could not believe how many of the songs actually fit! And no, we did NOT dance to Ice, Ice Baby at our wedding.

154.5

2007-06-22T08:48:00.000-04:00

Yowzers! Jeepers! I have no idea what I am doing to lose this weight. I didn't work out yesterday at all. I even ate a half a slice of the lemon pound cake. I may have to ask the Braggs to bake us another one, since every day I've eaten it I've lost weight. Hmm... lemon pound cake leads to weight loss. I like it! I should write a book!

Packing for the weekend in Pageland and the week in Disney. Should be fun!!! Must do the last load of laundry. Must also get a shower gift for next weekend. Or maybe we'll pick them up something at Disney. I don't think Chris or Kristen is into Disney. Oh well. And Nikki dropped off her laptop yesterday, so now I can upload photos from the camera every day. I was starting to think we'd have to buy a new memory card! I plan on taking plenty of pics of the boys. Maybe not as many as Nikki takes of Madison, but enough for us. I don't want them to ever forget their first trip to the happiest place on earth!

155.7

2007-06-21T21:29:00.001-04:00

I have met my 10% Weight Watchers goal! YES!!!

I have been so good. Even after a weekend of home cooking and lemon pound cake. (Man, that stuff was good!) I still managed to lose weight!

This has been a good week. Hubs has been "officially" diagnosed with ADHD. That would not seem like a good thing, except that now we know how to work on getting him better. He is supposed to be starting some medication soon, that will help him stay more focused.

I led our Beth Moore study tonight. It was fun! I have been feeling a call toward leading a Bible study at our new church, so I wanted to try out leading with friends. I think it went well. I was thinking about a study of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. It is such a good book! It has really made me look at my life and trying to find more balance between "doing" and "sitting". I am definitely a doer. What mom isn't? But I need to try and take more time to just sit and learn, and be with Jesus.

Only 3 more days till Disney World!!!! I think I may be even more excited than the kids. I know how awesome it is, so I have more anticipation!!!

Our First Sunday

2007-06-18T09:11:00.000-04:00

I have to report. It was our first Sunday at our new church. Pageland United Methodist in the little town of Pageland, SC. WOW! I could not believe that the self-assured man standing at the front of the church behind the lectern was my Hubs! His voice boomed. His gestures were sure. He didn't stumble or hesitate. It was like someone else. I have never been so proud of him. It brought tears to my eyes.

All the things I was frightened of, being a pastor's wife, were totally unfounded. The people at PUMC were super nice and friendly. I went over with Cheeseman just before Sunday School time. We played with Bman in the nursery for a few minutes. Then two nice ladies, I can't remember both their names now, came by with the other members of his SS class. There were two little girls, ages 6 and 10, and one little boy, age 5. Perfect! So Cheeseman went with them, and had a great time.

Bman and I stayed in the nursery and played. They had lots of "old school" toys. Like those little plastic things that hook together by a hole in one end. I can't think of what they are. They are baby toys, but Bman totally loved them. They even had a cash register, like the one I had when I was a toddler. It didn't work anymore, and all the plastic money was gone, but still!

The church service was great! I'm still not a HUGE fan of traditional music, but it sounded different without an organ blasting. They only have a piano, and that made a difference to me. I liked it better. All the people were so nice, coming up and introducing themselves. I met one lady, Miss Rachel. She said that I had met her "little" sister the day before, Miss Ruth. Miss Ruth is 92. Miss Rachel is 98. The church is 102 years old. WOW! Miss Ruth sings in the choir, and Miss Rachel is the head of the trustees. These ladies are still going strong!

I have never gone to a church with so much history. It was really neat.

The parsonage is nice too. The boys love it! It is about twice the size of our house. The boys are sharing a bedroom, since Bman is not ready to sleep on a double bed by himself. They did okay with that. The first night, they made noise for about 10 minutes before settling down. But we wore them out on Saturday, and they went right to bed at 8:00.

There is a large open field right down a small hill from the house. It's church property, so the boys played baseball down there. There is also a playground right across the street. It has swings, a metal slide, metal jungle gyms (plural!!), and a climbing wall. Even a tire swing! We were there for over an hour! It was AWESOME!!!

There is no TV at the parsonage. It was not even a problem. We played outside, read books, played Power Rangers. Hubs' parents came and stayed Saturday night as well. It was a great Father's Day gift for his dad to hear him preach his first sermon in his first church. They were almost as proud as I was.

I went for a walk Saturday morning. I think I saw most of Pageland in 40 minutes. There is a KFC, Subway, Bojangles, Pizza Hut, Sub Station 2, Burger King, CVS, Dollar General, Family Dollar, BiLo, Rent-A-Center, and Advance Auto. There is no Wal-Mart, KMart, or Target. When we went "shopping" to get stuff for the house, we went to Dollar General. It was actually not too bad. When we went out to lunch after church, people spoke to each other. That small-town thing was not too bad. I think I liked it.

Anyway, I won't mind going back and staying there on the weekends. It will be nice to unwind and slow down on the weekends. If the washing machine were larger, it would be perfect, but you can't have it all!

OOPS

2007-06-13T21:51:00.000-04:00

I may have neglected to mention that Sunday was also our anniversary. Our seventh anniversary. Yay!

We didn't do anything special. In fact, we didn't do anything at all together except attend church. When we got home, Hubs ate lunch then fell asleep due to not getting home from the Braves game until nearly 3 a.m. He napped for about 3 hours, then got up in time to play with the boys for a little bit until it was time for youth group. When he got home, it was time to put the boys to bed. Then we sat and watched TV for a while, then both fell asleep on the couch.

Oh, the excitement!

So! I decided we needed to celebrate. After all, seven years is a big deal to me! I arranged for a babysitter. I picked her up on my way home from the bookstore on Monday. We also picked up a pizza. The sitter and I walked in the door, and Hubs' jaw dropped! I told him that we (he and I) were going out! So I took him out to Carraba's for dinner.

(We are really, really broke. But I had found 2 gift cards from students that totalled about $35. I figured we could both eat on that. And if were not for the beer and wine, we would have.)

It was nice. We got to really talk at dinner, instead of just trying to convince two little boys to eat. Instead of playing "blast off" and "airplane" and "train" with forks in order to bribe them to eat. Instead of picking food up off the floor. Instead of washing dishes.

Grown up conversation. We talked about how his first counselling session went. It was good. He has a second one next Tuesday. And today we got a letter from the insurance saying that they would cover his doctor visits! YES! I was a little concerned about that. Like I said, we are BROKE.

Anyway, it was a lovely evening. We still are not back where we were before all the breaking news, but we are at least sitting at the same table. It is going to take some time before I am able to trust him completely again. That's okay. The things we work for are the things that mean the most to us, right?

And tomorrow, BabyNet is coming to talk to us about our goals for Bman's speech therapy. At 8:30 a.m.!!! Um, I'd like for people outside of Hubs and me to be able to understand him. Duh!

The Last Sunday

2007-06-10T14:21:00.000-04:00

That we are going to "our" church. I will truly, truly miss NEUMC. Hubs and I have been attending church there since January of 2001. We went the first time by invitation of some of my students who were going there. Thanks Audrey and Ryan! Hubs got involved fairly quickly. It was my fault, really. I volunteered him to sing in the choir. Oops. Then, I also volunteered him to work with a small, student-led Bible study. He loved both! Soon, I was also involved with adult Bible study.

Then I got pregnant with Cheeseman. I volunteered that summer at VBS for the first time. It was scary! There was a little boy in my group who was SO HYPER! I just knew that my little one would be just like that. (which he is) Anyway, we continued volunteering with choir, youth, and children's ministries.

It has been the most wonderful experience. I would not trade it for the world.

My favorite thing about being there, though, has been the friendships I've made through singing with the Praise Team/Band and our Sunday school class. Yes, Sunday school for adults. These relationships have been the backbone for me especially. I have my closest friends there. Lisa, Shannon, Bonnie, Kay. These are my girls! And while it will be hard not to see them, not to sing with them, I know that we will survive this. Because God is part of these friendships. And I know He does not want them to end. I am not leaving my friends, just the building where I met them.

It has taken a lot for me to come to this realization. And yes, I did cry this morning, saying good-bye to the Band. But I know that they will always be with me. And I'll be singing with them on their non-Sunday-morning gigs. Like at Salkehatchie in a few weeks. It'll be okay. For them, and for me.

So while I'm still sad a little, from having to say farewell, I am okay. The Lord is standing next to me, holding my hand, helping me along this path that He wants us to take. He is making me stronger, and making my faith stronger as well. Together, I will get through this. I might even like it!

Fun Night

2007-06-09T21:29:00.000-04:00

Well, we're finally home. Spent the evening at sis's house, letting the kids play together. I don't know about hers, but mine are sleeping soundly. Cheeseman did ask to stay up for a few minutes, but as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out! Bman is also snoring right now. Really snoring. We've got to get that checked out.

The children had a wonderful time. They played with all Madison's toys. They played on the swings, went down the slide. We played "baseball". (That would be Bman hitting off the tee, and Cheeseman getting pitched to.) We ate lasagna. Both boys finished their dinners, which is kind of a miracle. Then we watched High School Musical. Evidently, Madison knows all the words to the songs. I have to say, it is entertaining. The movie, and Madison singing.

A good time was had by all. And I ate too much. And now I'm going to have an English Toffee ice cream bar. Because I've already gone over points. I'll just work harder tomorrow!

Hubs is still in ATL. I don't expect him till well after midnight. The game is still going strong. Last I saw, my Braves were still winning! I am having to update my bro-in-law as to the score of the UNC/USC super-regional baseball game. He's a USC FANatic, and he's missing the game to do this male bonding thing. Isn't that nice?

I hate running

2007-06-09T15:43:00.000-04:00

But I'm getting better at it. When summer started, and I was determined to get into better shape and lose some weight, I didn't want to have to get into a hot car, drive to the gym, work out, get back into a hot car, and drive home. So I started walking in a nearby neighborhood. It's only across one semi-busy street. And there's a sidewalk and sprinklers.

The first week, all I did was walk. 15 minutes out, 15 minutes back. The next week, I tried to run some. I was able to get up to 3 minutes of running at a time.

Last week was even better. I was running for about 8-10 minutes at a time.

Then yestereday, I ran for almost 12 straight minutes. When Hubs measured it, it was 1.1 miles! Yay!!!!!! Today, I did the same distance in 11 and 1/2 minutes. I took 20 seconds off my time! Felt good, felt good.

So, even though I hate running, I'm glad I'm getting better at it. And I'm down 14 pounds. And a waist size. I'm in a 12 now. I even have one pair of 10 shorts that fit fine. Guess that particular brand runs large. But I can still boast that I can wear a 10!

Waiting on Bman to get up from his nap so we can go to Nikki's. The menfolk are in Atlanta going to the Braves game tonight, so we ladies are getting the kids together to play. Should be fun! I'm providing lasagna.

A much better day

2007-06-08T19:37:00.000-04:00

It was, oh, it was! Finally, we are seeing some progress. I wasn't so sure earlier, especially last week. Yes, Hubs went to meet with Kevin. So that was something. But he hadn't remembered to call the doctor to make his appointment. Then he did it. And he went. And he came home with Lexapro.

I know all is not healed with anti-depressants. But he also has an appointment with a counselor on Monday afternoon. And this morning, he told me that he is committed to finding out what is causing "this" and fixing it. Or at least figuring out what it is so that I can see it coming. Yay! This is 7 years in the making. I am so thankful that he has decided this is something important. It has been taking its toll on our marriage.

It has also affected the children. Cheeseman asked me the other day why daddy is always so mean. Why he yells all the time. And I had to try to explain in 4-year-old words that it's not Daddy's fault. He's just sad. Luckily, and this sounds bad, Hubs' grandmother had just passed, so Cheeseman thought I meant sad because Grama died. Well, it made sense to him, so I let it go. But it really hit home. He had noticed a change in his dad, and he wanted to know what was going on. I also had to emphasize that Daddy loves him very much, even if he seems mad sometimes. It nearly broke my heart.

But today, today was good. Hubs and I have been walking/running in the mornings, before the heat really kicks in. We all went to the grocery store together, which is always an adventure. I don't think we came home with anything NOT on the list, which is a miracle. We stopped at McD's for the kids to get Happy Meals. New Surf's Up toys! We tried to have naptime, but neither Cheeseman nor Bman was having that. I did my Bible study while they had "quiet" time. (HA!)

This afternoon, we went to the mall to buy Hubs some new swim trunks for VACATION!! We also bought him a grill for Father's Day. Unfortunately, it won't be here till the 29th, but he can dream about it until then. We've already started planning our first party.

I cooked dinner tonight, Tuna Noodle Casserole, the WW way. It was YUMMY, and only 6 points. Then we all went for a walk together around the block. The boys desperately need a bath, but it's such a pain! Hubs has gone to a movie with my little brother and our bro-in-law. Boys night and all that. Weenie. Left me to bathe the chilrens. Oh, well.

It was still an awesome day!!

I Mean Really!

2007-06-02T22:33:00.000-04:00

How hard is it to push some toys out of the middle of the floor?

If you are four and two, obviously it is very hard. Especially if your daddy doesn't make you.

If you are the daddy, VERY, VERY HARD, because you'd rather sit on your lazy ass and not do anything. When I got home from work (back at the bookstore, yay!), the living room was a mess. It immediately irritated me. Hubs was asleep on the couch, as usual. I woke him up and he apologized for the mess. He always apologizes. If I wanted an apology, I would ask for one. Instead, I asked for him to just push the mess out of the way. He says he "meant" to clean it up, and just sat down to rest for a minute. That's why he was LAYING down. He obviously didn't notice when he fell over asleep.

And the kids didn't get a bath either, even though they'd been over playing at a friend's house for the afternoon.

My God! Do I have to do everything around here?

And now he's gone back to sleep on the couch. Mess is still there. As usual. I'll be the one to clean it up, because I have no patience for this bullshit.

I mean, really. Seriously. This is about ridiculous!

Better day?

2007-06-01T21:13:00.000-04:00

Today was a better day, vacation-wise. I got to go for a walk this morning. I only ran for 8 minutes today, but I walked for an additional 30 "briskly" so that was good. Then Cheeseman and I went to Wal-Mart to get a present for his buddy. He's going to the party tomorrow afternoon, so it was a good thing. And we picked out some more flowers for the front of the house. Hubs wanted to hang them tonight (the flowers), but we didn't have any hooks. Oh well, maybe later this week.

Cheeseman didn't want to eat much at lunch today, barely half his grilled cheese. Which is usually his favorite. He did eat a lot of Doritos though. That's his new thing - Doritos. Whatever! This afternoon, Cheeseman, Hubs, and I went to Baskin Robbins. Yes, I know, the diet. But it's okay! Sugar Free ice cream is the way to go. All the taste, with not near as much fat! Yippee! Only 4 points.

Then we went to the grocery store. Doesn't sound to exciting, but it was fun. Hubs pushed the racecar cart, and I did the navigating. We are trying to eat healthier. Most of the cart was filled with fruits, veggies, and whole wheat selections. Yay us! Tonight, we had salmon and the most awesome pesto rotini ever! It was seriously yummy! We even went for a walk together as a family after dinner. And the kids went straight to bed, not too much fussing. Usually, Bman gets up once or twice trying to escape bedtime. Only opened his door once. Turns out he just wanted Mommy to come in and sing to him. Such a sweetie!

Hubs went and met with our pastor today. He (Hubs) has suffered from depression at times. When we first got married, we didn't live in the same place for the first six months. I was here teaching, and he was finishing his last semester of school. At least, that was what he was supposed to be doing. Instead, he was going to movies, driving around aimlessly, basically just wasting days. When he finally sat down and told me, it was frightening. He went on an antidepressant and had some counselling. Then he moved down here with me, and everything was fine.

This spring, unbeknownst to me, this depression came back. I had noticed some off behavior, sleeping on the couch every night, and I asked him about it. He said nothing was wrong. Then, a couple of days later, he confessed. He hadn't been to class in a week. That was in April. Evidently, there were other times when he just couldn't get himself to go. His grades were not good. He was already on probation academically, and the seminary told him to take a year off. To get help and get straightened out.

It has been frightening. Again. And this time, there are two other little people to think about. It has not been a good time around here. Every day, I asked him how his classes were. Many times, he lied to me and made up stuff. I feel so betrayed! How can I believe anything that he says? I feel like I need to check up after him, make sure he's done what he's telling me. Like calling the doctor. Like going to talk to Kevin. But I'm not his mom! That is not what marriage is about, keeping watch like a hawk. It's supposed to be about trust and respect and love. I'm not really feeling those things on my end.

And I'm concerned about him continuing on this path. He's got an appointment to be a part-time pastor at a church about an hour and a half from here. Basically, we go up there on weekends, and he does his thing. The district office is okay with him going on and doing this. I have some reserve feelings. How can he pastor others if he can't even take care of himself? Doesn't he need to focus on him, and getting himself better?

And yes, truth be told, I don't really want to leave our church. Not at all. But I'm mostly thinking of him. He says that this is just what he needs to see if this pastoring thing is his calling. Isn't there another way? Wouldn't the failing grades and lack of motivation be an indicator?

Also, I'm pissed. Mad at him for lieing to me. Mad at me for not seeing it. Mad at him, because I've been working my ass off all year. And for what? For him to dick around and not go to class? I think not! I have neglected my children and not put them to bed for 3 nights, not even seen them for 72 hours, so he can skip class?! That makes me angry. AND, now that he has added at least one, if not two, more years to his schooling, that is more time that I have to spend in hell. Teaching. How could he do that to me?

But it's not all about me. It should be about him. About getting him better. About fixing this thing that's wrong. But I'm still allowed to feel these things, right? I can still be angry, and hurt, about what has happened. I just can't say anything about it.

What a Week!

2007-05-31T22:41:00.000-04:00

Finally, I am staring Friday in the face. It could not have come fast enough. You'd think that with school out, it would be less stressful. But it's like the stress waited until it could just knock me over to come.

Cheeseman is doing better. He is still not eating much, at least not consistently. He'll eat some days really well, like at McD's the other day. Then other times, like tonight at dinner, he'll barely touch his food. And he likes chicken nuggets and macaroni. Those are two of his favorite foods! It doesn't make any sense. I'm keeping an eye on him, just in case.

Bman is doing okay. BabyNet came by today to do a speech eval on him. Mrs. Deborah had called them to take a look at him through the daycare. And some guy came to the house today to do the official look over. Evidently, they think Bman may be speech delayed. I know a lot of people can't understand all of what he says, but I can! Of course, Hubs says that's just because we're used to it. And we understand his special grunts and when he points. And when he screams at stuff that he wants. And when he just gives up because we don't understand. Evidently, that also is a problem. He's supposed to get frustrated that we don't understand. But Bman is just really laid back. He's very self-sufficient. He'll sit and play by himself all the time. So, should I feel guilty for not reading to him enough?

All year, we've been so preoccupied with Cheeseman's medical stuff, in and out of hospitals with doctors and all, we haven't had time to do as much with Bman as we did with the first one. Is he suffering now because I didn't make the time? Well, I guess I wouldn't say he's suffering, exactly. He's still going with the flow. And luckily, BabyNet is free. They will provide whatever speech therapy he needs for FREE until he turns three. (in October) Then they will turn him over to the local school district. Which I happen to work for. Which Aunt Nikki also teaches in, at the elementary school that serves our neighborhood. Where Bman would probably go for speech. Yay! I guess it could be worse.

That's all I'm going to write about today. Another day, probably tomorrow, I will share the story of Hubs. I'm not sure I can write about it yet, because it's still pretty fresh. But I will share. Because when I read about this in a few years, I want to always remember what we went through, and how it made us stronger.

Doing Weight Watchers

2007-05-27T10:14:00.000-04:00

I joined Weight Watchers on April 20. Originally, it was to take off some weight to look good in the bridesmaid's dress for my brother's wedding in July. And it was also a little because my pastor mentioned that he did it, and they were running a free week special. I figured if a GUY could stay on it, surely it couldn't be that hard.

The first week, I lost two pounds. It didn't seem like much, and my clothes were still tight. The next week, it was three. I had lost five pounds! That was exciting. The clothes were fitting better.

In the last three weeks, I've lost 6 more pounds. Bringing my total to 11! Wow! My new capris that I bought at Old Navy in April: too big. I put a pair on today to go to church and I had to belt them really close. I didn't want them to fall off when I was singing. It felt good. Even Hubs said that he could really tell I'd been losing when he looked at me in the mirror the other morning. I tend to stand around in my underwear while I'm doing my hair and makeup.

It has improved my life. I want to go shopping to buy some new clothes, but I'm going to wait. I don't want to buy a bunch of stuff now, then have it not fit in another month. As much as I love to shop, we just don't have the money for that kind of thing.

Also, I'm feeling much better about me. I've always had self-esteem issues. Since I was a teen. I know that, and I've tried to work through them. I'll be doing really well, then gain weight and feel bad again. The thing is, that doesn't just affect me, it also affects my marriage. When I feel bad about me, I don't want Hubs to want me. I feel like he can't possibly want to have sex with me when I'm looking (in my mind) fat. Then he feels rejected because I don't want to sleep with him, and it's an ugly cycle. We've been doing it ever since Cheeseman was born.

Now, though, I'm liking my body a bit more. And I want him to notice me. It's improving our marriage. Yay! Thank you, Weight Watchers, for helping my marriage!

Summer vacation begins

2007-05-26T19:53:00.001-04:00

School is out and it is my summer vacation yet again. This year, we get twelve full weeks of summer, thanks to the powers that be in the state house and congress. Whatever. I am (somewhat) looking forward to spending time with my little guys. If only Cheeseman would quit whining every five seconds about Bman hitting him/throwing something at him/looking at him. Those two!

Hubs is on his way to O'burg tonight. He got a call from his aunt saying that Gramma is not doing so well. She has Alzheimers, and has been going downhill pretty rapidly. They think she may not make the night. Poor hubs. I know this has been hard for all of them. Especially Aunt, because she lives right there in town and does most of the taking care of stuff.

I've lost 11 lbs. using Weight Watchers. Yay! It's been 5 weeks. I fully intend to keep it off, and even lose some more. If only I could stop eating those damn brownies!

And I can't find my cell. Where the hell is it? I've tried calling it, and I can't even hear it ringing. That is not good.

Hmmmm....

2007-05-26T19:52:00.000-04:00

How funny is this!?

Published laughing jewelry

2007-05-11T21:28:00.000-04:00

I am a published author. I am so excited about this! I have been writing in some form or another since second grade: diaries, journals, poetry, memoirs, short fiction. This is the first time I've ever had something really in print.

Where can you go to read my moving piece?

Shine! The literary magazine of the middle school where I teach.

Man, when I opened up the mag, I was so excited! I turned to the page, and there it was. In it's black and white glory. With my name on it and everything. I think I squealed.

What's fun about it is that some of my students have read it too. Wow! Actual people, reading my stuff. Well, if you consider middle schoolers to be people. Which I mostly do.

Funny from today. We were having too much immature fun in class today (Apollo has many duties [doodies][hee hee]) and one of the kids says "You are so immature!"

I answered "If you spent all day with middle schoolers, you'd be immature too!"

She replied "I DO!"

"And there you go."

Okay, looking at that makes it less funny. But if you could see the look on her face, it was all worth it. Right there.

In unrelated news, I think I am addicted to jewelry. I love it. I must have more. I went to another jewelry party tonight, and bought a bracelet, necklace, and ring. Must stop.

My dirty little secret

2007-05-04T21:34:00.000-04:00

If I write it, it will be real. I told Shannon tonight, because I really just need someone to talk to. I have no one. I'm here, I'm all alone. I have no one to talk to. I told Shannon.

Hubs has been sleeping on the couch all week. Not because I made him. Because he doesn't come to bed because he's "not tired." Then he falls asleep. T

he one time I woke him up to come to bed, he tossed and turned for 45 minutes then went back and slept on the couch.

Every morning, I wake up to the living room light on. The TV on. Sometimes a kitchen light on. Sometimes the front door still unlocked.

I feel like my marriage is in trouble. He doesn't see it. He doesn't see that I am bothered by this. I'm scared to say anything to him, because I don't want to get into another fight.

He won't even be home tonight at all. He's off with the youth group on a Lock Out. Then he has to work the lunch shift at the restaurant. So he'll be home (maybe) to shower before 10, then not again until after 4. Then he'll sleep and sleep and sleep. Bet he'll sleep in the bed then.

Do we need counselling? I wouldn't even know where to look. Should I talk to my pastor again? He knows that Hubs and I are having issues. He keeps saying 'I've got to talk to him' but he hasn't yet. I don't know what to do. I'm so embarrassed.

Am I so repulsive that he can't stand to be in the same room as me? He hasn't tried to touch me in almost 2 weeks. He's never been like that! What is going on?

I cry on the way to work sometimes, I'm so depressed. What do I do?